Skewed Bullseye

Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. Philippians 3:8 NLT

I guess I’ll just have to quit…
    I can’t do it anymore…
        There’s not enough time…
            I wish I didn’t have to give it up…

Do you ever feel this way? To be honest, I whine and whimper these thoughts often. There always seems to be something that I truly enjoy doing that ends up requiring so much of my energy and focus that it becomes “Just too much!” When I hear myself using this expression repeatedly, I know that something is about to change.

I quit.

That’s been the lifelong way I deal with stress. I look at my list of responsibilities, declare the need to refocus my priorities, and then quit doing whatever is not essential. Unfortunately, that means I usually give up what I am passionately enjoying at the time. Do you, too, find that your passions absorb all your attention? After I’ve poured all myself into ministries, hobbies, and writing, I don’t want to meet the emotional and physical needs of my family, go the extra mile for a friend, answer the phone, or even pay a bill. My energy has been unequally distributed and the only solution seems to be quitting.

What I’ve come to realize is that quitting doesn’t end the cycle. While there is immediate relief from the stress of unhealthy boundaries, it only lasts until something new grabs my attention and I unintentionally pour myself whole-heartedly into another writing idea, a slightly different ministry, a new and improved hobby.

Just the other night, I was reflecting on this pattern with my husband, “Do you realize that there is always something in my life that seems like too much and my solution is always to get rid of it. Stop doing it?” Yes, he agreed. And then I saw a picture of what my life looks like: a skewed bulls-eye. The outer ring was consumed by my passions and ministries, while the inner rings were all bounced off-center. Somewhere, floating about were my children, husband, and Jesus. My wise husband said, “Why is Jesus not the center of your bulls-eye?” I was speechless.

The next day, it sunk in that Jesus was not the center of my life. While He was in the picture, He wasn’t my center. Without Jesus as the center, anything I try to accomplish will be askew. This time, I pictured the bulls-eye of a centered life. Jesus has got to be in the middle, surrounded by my husband, children, and finally passions that express my creativity and ministries. If each ring stays in its rightful place, surrounding Jesus as my center, I have no doubt that the stress level will decrease as I practice living a life totally focused on Jesus.

Quite honestly, I don’t have the ability to keep all things centered and balanced. No, only Jesus does. It is time to allow Him His rightful place in the center of my life, as center mark of my passion. How about you?

For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water… Revelation 7:17

Share Your Thoughts
What is at the center of your bulls-eye? What passions or responsibilities over take Jesus being the center of your life?