Empathizing with your Enemies

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

   ”If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
      if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
   In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:14-21

Does reading this passage make you think of your shortcomings as readily as it does me? Conceit? Pride? Living at Peace? Not only loving your enemies, but blessing those who persecute you?

As a Christian living in the United States, and as a person whose family and friends are mostly Christians, I often feel that I don’t have a proper appreciation for persecution, so I often find it hard to apply these passages to my life as a Christian living in relative ease. I was recently studying in a small group and got a new perspective on persecution. One of the definitions is simply to annoy or trouble persistently. Well, a lot of people annoy me (and I’m sure that I annoy a lot of people as well). How can I show God’s love in my response to these people? I think that reading this passage as a whole provides one of the keys to reacting in the way that the Bible commands us. Rejoicing and mourning with those who are experiencing those emotions requires us to have empathy. I think it’s easy for us to think of instances where we have come alongside a friend, to rejoice with her: with the birth of a new baby, a marriage, or an exciting new job opportunity. We can probably almost as easily recall mourning with a friend over a death, the end of a marriage, or the loss of a job or a dream. But Paul is still talking about those who persecute us here. That nice reminder about mourning and rejoicing is sandwiched right in between the command to bless those who persecute us and live in harmony with one another. So specifically, how can we mourn or rejoice with our enemies? Checking our pride is one way. By seeing others in the same way we see ourselves, we might begin to react differently. Empathy is about relating to someone’s feelings.

Have you ever seen an adult dealing harshly with a child? Perhaps a coworker getting chastised for something that she may or may not have done? It generally evokes a feeling of empathy. The next time you are thinking harshly of your enemy, try to remember the pain she might have felt when she was in a similar situation. Even if that person is perhaps treating you in that unfair way, imagine her feelings as a person. How would you feel if she were your sister, or your best friend? We should seek to treat everyone in the same way we would treat our beloved ones.

It’s not easy by any means, but it’s no less than what Jesus himself did.

How have you been able to empathize with your enemies, or bless those who have persecuted you?