Enriching Our Lives with a Friend

“I’ve dreamed of meeting her all my life… a bosom friend – an intimate friend,… a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul.”

-Anne, in Anne of Green Gables-

When I was a young girl, I was a lot like Anne Shirley, in that this is what my heart’s desire was. To find a bosom friend. One who knew me really well, and whom I knew just as well with a friendship no teenage catastrophe of life could break. Now that I’m an adult, I think my heart still has that space in it that is meant for a deep, intimate friendship with another woman.

But I am oh, so, so busy. And a friendship like that takes work. And time. Amidst the piles of laundry, the taxi service to my kids, the helping with homework, the dusting, the cooking, the job, the thought of taking the time to form a deep friendship can seem absolutely overwhelming.

Do I really have the time to have a good friend and in turn, to be a good friend? Is that really needful in my life? After all, I’ve got a husband and kids. Is that not enough? As a Mom juggling many roles, will having a close friendship add to my life or just give me one more plate I need to spin? These are things that were mulling over in my head and heart as I approached a change in my life a few years ago. As we were saying good bye to old friends and starting over at a new church, the effort of making new, deep friendships just seemed to require too much of an effort. Aquaintances were just fine, but a “bosom” friend?

But as the weeks went by, and I met a lot of the people at church, I realized that I could not just solely live with acquaintance type relationships. I missed the things that a deep, solid friendship brings with it. The way a good friend will bring out the best in me and the way a good friendship would hold me accountable if I had wrong attitudes and thoughts. I missed being able to totally relax and be myself and know that I would still be loved. I missed hashing over hard decisions with a woman who would understand the emotional end of it. I missed just pouring our hearts out over a coffee or laughing about things a woman only could truly understand.

As I thought about friendship, I wondered if God thought they were an important part of life. I thought of Jesus living His life on earth as an example. Jesus loved everyone, but He had a few very close friends. Mary, Martha and Lazarus were counted among His friends. In John 11 Lazarus was referred to several times in an intimate context as the one Jesus’ loved.

“So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord the one you love is sick” vs.3
“Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” Vs.5
“Jesus wept. The the Jews said, “See how He loved him!” vs. 35-36

Even amongst the twelve disciples, Jesus had a few that were closer to Him than the others, ones that He was more intimate with. John is one that immediately comes to mind.

Several scriptures speak of friendship and what it brings to life.

• Proverbs 17:17 says a friend loves at all times
• Proverbs 27:6 says wounds from a friend can be trusted
• Proverbs 27:10 tells us not to forsake our friends
• Ecclesiates 4:10 tells us friends help us up when we fall

These are just a few.

A couple weeks ago, I was very glad I had taken the time to foster a few very good friendships in my new church. I had a very hurtful, hard thing happen and I called this friend to let her know I wouldn’t be doing something that we had planned. Immediately she rose up and saw what I needed and offered it. And it was as simple as a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on and some strong, true, biblically sound advice. But if we hadn’t have fostered our friendship that need might have gone unrecognized.

Good friends ask questions, they laugh and cry with us, they encourage us, they stimulate our faith walk, they applaud our strengths and stand strong by us where we are weak. Friendship brings a richness to life that transcends our station in life. Is the time and effort of a good friendship worth it? I would say, “Absolutely”.

Do you have a good friend that you can count on? Do you think it is worth the effort and vulnerability to have a close friendship? What qualities do you look for in a close friendship? Is there someone you can think of who needs to have a friend? If it is you, what can you do to start fostering a close friendship in your life?