7 Comments to 'FOOD IS FUEL, NOT A CONSOLATION PRIZE'
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FOOD IS FUEL, NOT A CONSOLATION PRIZE
Posted By Health Moderator
One of the most difficult parts of being a parent is taking charge of the health of people other than your own self. It is a tough job to manage the food intake and activity level of your kids, especially if you are a person who struggles in this area already. Couple that with values and traditions that were established when you were a child and you may find that you are passing down some habits to your children that aren’t the best. I know I’ve found myself doing that.
In my own childhood, everything revolved around food. Good report cards earned a special dinner out. Concerts and Science Fair exhibits at school got us ice cream sundaes at 9:00pm after the show was over. Bad days at school or work warranted ordering pizza and wings and having family movie nights. These were all fun activities and certainly fine in moderation. But as an adult, I found that basing rewards or consolation prizes on food eventually crept into every area of my life. I no longer thought of food as fuel. Instead it constantly became a reward or a medication. I began to pass these ideas down to my kids just as they had been passed to me.
It struck me one evening when after a school concert, my daughter was upset that we weren’t going to get ice cream. I had decided it was almost bedtime; she’d already had cookies after school that afternoon and hadn’t eaten a particularly good dinner. I was making the healthier choice, but I actually felt like I was punishing her - like I was saying she didn’t deserve the treat. Luckily she was five and in kindergarten so she hadn’t had too many concerts to set the precedent. But I realized at that point that I was taking her down a road that I didn’t want to travel.
These days, we talk about our food as simply fuel for our bodies - like gas for our car. We fill up when we need to and we wait until later if we’re not empty yet. Sure, some of the fuel tastes better than others and some days we might have an extra treat but it has nothing to do with earning it, getting good grades or having a bad day.
There are rewards in life for good work and there are certainly consolations for feeling badly - but it’s not food. Our family has instituted a strict non-edible reward and comfort policy - we might use a new toy, some special time with mom or dad or even doing a fun family activity together like playing miniature golf or taking a bike ride.
Emotional eating is a tough urge to resist, especially when you think the kids aren’t looking. But guess what? They’re almost always looking and if you do it, they’ll do it too.
by Jennifer O
Read Jennifer’s blog at www.thinksbyme.com
Mar 29th, 2007
This is something I know that I am going to struggle with. I already do as a daughter and daughter-in-law, and have become so as a wife. Both of our families are 100% food celebrators. It will take constant, deliberate effort to change this in our family for our son.
I appreciate you writing about this. It is worthy of more thought and planning!
Great subject. We don’t celebrate too much with reward food, but I’ve had another issue come up. My thirteen year old was consoling herself with icecream after a bad day. I explained that this was a time when some kids might feel the need to use drugs. She was using the icecream the same way. I told her it was okay to do once in awhile, but spending some time with her Bible may help also. It is a hard lesson to teach when we’re guilty of it too. I know I have a nice handful of dark chocolate chips when I need a lift!
Kathy
www.lessonsfromthelaundry.com
Jennifer,
You hit the nail on the head with this one! Thinking of food as fuel is key to avoiding emotional eating.
Great post.
Diane
You are so right. I find it even amazing that our children at church are fed loads of candy and sweets as rewards. Perhaps something different should be used…we are constantly throwing away the candy our kids have saved in the kitchen especially from church! Recently, I took a load of candy to work and when my husband came to pick me up at work, our son (7) walked in and was delighted to see Mom had candy. He politely asked for a piece and I said “yes”…he didn’t know it was his stash…6 months later, he still doesn’t know. Perhaps it is not as important as we think.
WOW!!! FANTASTIC post!!! You are so right. I grew up with a pretty balanced approach to food, but it really helps to see it pointed out so clearly so that I don’t make those mistakes.
I am so guilty of using food as a reward or consolation prize.
Another thing I struggle with, is when I was growing up, we had desert on special occasions only. My husband grew up with it daily, and my children expect it daily. I am trying to break both habits, and it is comforting to know that I am not alone in the struggle. Thank you so much for giving me fuel for my thoughts. 
Thanks for affirming that I’m not the only one who struggles with food as a reward! I find that it’s difficult with food - it’s not like other obsessions that you can avoid completely. You can quit smoking, drinking or doing drugs. But you can’t quit eating!