R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Find Out What It Means To Your King

Hi, I am Kathleen Marie and the hostess of Marriage for Faith Lifts. I want to share with you a topic that is very dear to my heart, Respect for our husbands. Early in my marriage I did not understand respect. In fact, I had a very hateful spirit toward all men for varying reasons. I would often belittle my husband in public, criticize him and so on. How he endured my wicked, hateful tongue I will never understand but the Lord changed me. He changed my heart; he tamed my tongue and basically delivered me from all the pain that caused me to lash out with such hate. Here is my post on Respect and I want to thank my sister Shannon for giving me some excellent suggestions.

Now that the Valentine holiday is past, many of you may be wondering what happened to the romance? To that tinkling feeling going up and down your spine; to the flowers, chocolates, love notes, surprise dinners, walks along the beach or in the park? And why does this happen only once a year, or for many of you, not at all?

Nowadays it is probably a child instead of your husband patting your back trying to get your attention while you talk on the phone, attempt to keep the potatoes from boiling over, or try to keep Junior from toppling over in his high chair.

The fact is life just gets in the way of romance. So, what can we do about it?

In Esther 2:12 we learn of the preparation that she had to go through to be brought to her King. You may think, “Well I am not married to a King.” But aren’t you? Should not every woman believe that her husband is the ‘King of his Castle’, of his household?

Esther 2: 12 stated that before a girl’s turn came to go in to King Xerxes she had to complete twelve months of beauty treatments prescribed for the women: six months with oil of myrrh and six with perfumes and cosmetics.

Let me give you two scenarios of a typical day in an American household and you can decide which day you prefer.

Number One: You have been cleaning and your main focus was the bathroom. You really worked hard to get the scum out of your shower. In the meantime, Little Johnny made a mess in the kitchen and Tiny Jill decided to color on the living room wall. You scold them, fix their lunch, cleanup their messes and put them down for a nap.

Before you know it they are awake and want ‘Mommy time’. Exhausted, you read them a story, play dolls with Jill, tractors with Johnny, and you look at the clock. Where did the day go? The house is still a disaster and now it is time to make supper but you forgot to thaw out the meat.

At six sharp your “King” walks through the door .You are wearing sweat pants, your hair is a mess, and you’re tired and frustrated. In the meantime, Jill is upset because Johnny just decapitated her favorite doll. Johnny is drawing on the wall. You’re stuck on the phone with a disgruntled friend while cooking mac and cheese for the third time this week.

Where are the loving children and loving wife to greet your King? He is tired and has had a long day. Supper is not ready and the idea of mac and cheese again makes his stomach churn. The “castle” looks like the neighboring clan raided it and his favorite chair is filled with toys.

The “King” cleans off his chair and sits down with the paper. You come in and say, “Hi, do you know what Johnny and Jill did today?” and continue to rattle off your children’s daily tribulations. Johnny and Jill look at Dad nervously to see if they are going to get scolded. They feel the tension rising so they leave the room.

The “King” asks if supper is ready and you reply with, “Supper? And when do you think I have time to make a decent supper? And by the way, do you think you could for once clean the shower when you are done taking one? It took me hours to clean it this morning and that’s when…?” Well, you get the idea.

Let me ask you this, if the roles were reversed what would you do? How would you feel? Would the idea of flowers and romance even enter your imagination? I think not. We all have bad days but take heart! There are ways to make your day more productive and stress free.

Let’s take a look at the second scenario and see how this day plays out.

Number Two: You wake up early and spend some time with the Lord in prayer. You put on some praise music and make a list of what you want to accomplish. You know your “Kings” birthday is this weekend so you want to plan something special and build up some anticipation about it in him.

Johnny and Jill awaken and you tell them your plans. While you are cleaning the bathroom, they are cleaning their bedroom. When both jobs are done, you have lunch, followed by play time, and then help your two angels make special cards for “The King, their Daddy”. After the kids are finished you tell them its naptime. If they don’t want to sleep, you tell them to rest and read a book.

During naptime you tidy up the living room and make supper (which you have pre-planned). While the supper is cooking you take a quick shower and clean yourself up for “The King”, remembering to put on his special fragrance.

When “The King” arrives home you tell the kids, “Daddy’s home!” in a very excited tone of voice. When he walks in to his castle he is welcomed by loving, happy kids and an adoring wife who also happens to smell nice. You let him know supper is almost ready. You hand him his newspaper and tell him to relax. You show him respect and honor.

Ephesians 5:33 teaches us, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband”.

After he is relaxed a bit you ask him how his day went. You do not interrupt by telling him all the gory details of the day, such as Johnny decapitated Jill’s favorite doll or that Jill colored on the wall. You handled that yourself. If Johnny’s decapitating days continue, than you can discuss it with “The King” but it really is nothing that needs to be brought up. ‘Boys will be boys’ as the saying goes.

Remember wives, spend time listening to your husband. He is your earthly King, your love, your soul mate and he deserves your respect and honor in his household. He deserves to come home to a clean house, an adoring wife and loving children. He deserves your utmost respect regardless of how you feel.

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones”. Proverbs 12:4

“Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land”. Proverbs 31:23

Your husband, your “King,” is not a sitcom character who is belittled and given the intelligence of an ape. He is not a Homer Simpson who can do nothing right. These characters do nothing to teach us respect for our husbands. Toss out the sitcom scenario and give your man the respect he deserves. I can assure you that you will be rewarded, and not just by your husband but by your Heavenly Father who loves you. Nancy Cobb author of “How to get your Husband to Talk to You” says that men desire (need) respect more than love in their marriage.

By showing your husband respect you are also teaching your children what is expected of them in a marriage relationship.

“Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Titus 2:4-6

“For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive (dutiful) to their own husbands.” 1 Peter 3:5

I can assure you that when your husband knows that he is loved and respected, he will feel like a King. And you can be sure that he will treat you like the Queen that you desire to be.