A Countable Number

Psalm 90:12, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

My fourteen year old son was recently talking with me about my busy schedule and some plans I had made. While we were talking, he made a comment that shocked me a bit. “Mom,” he said, “You know I have had you at home all my life and it has been good for me. Just because you have been doing this a long time and are tired doesn’t mean my younger siblings should miss out on what I had. They should get the same start in life.” His comment was sobering. Even from his teenage vantage point, he could see the value of having a mom who is committed to her children, heart and soul. While he understands my desire to spread my creative wings, he also knows that—for just a bit longer—it is better for me to lay down my desires for the good of my children, just like I did for him.

The world will tell us we can have it all and no one will get hurt. We should take care of ourselves first and everyone will be better for it. That is what the world has to say. But that is not what God has to say. If you read His word, you see a message that is quite different. Jesus talked a lot during His ministry about sacrifice and doing for others. He didn’t say, “Do what feels good and hope for the best.” His very ministry, after all, was about laying down His rights for our good.

Philippians 2:5-8 says, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross.” Jesus voluntarily surrendered His rights, but not His place. The phrase “but made himself nothing” is kenosis, which means “emptying.” He emptied Himself of His entitlements so that He could take on our human limitations and gain our salvation. He saved us by surrendering to a terrible punishment He did not deserve. He did all this without a single thought of what He was owed. I want to make Jesus my model for how to love my children. I want to make words like servanthood and surrender part of my daily vocabulary. I want to empty myself of my rights, my entitlements and my selfish agenda. I know that when I do this, I bring honor to my Savior.

Some day, I must stand before God and give an account for the days He allowed me on this earth, and for the souls He entrusted to me. I must love my children with the kind of love He modeled for me—a love based on sacrifice and not self gain. I must lay down my desires for time for me, or earthly accomplishments. I must serve with grace and joy—even if that idea flies in the face of what I hear in society. I must bring the cup of water, wipe the nose, clean the messes, cook the food, and all those other mundane things out of pure love—with no other motive in mind.

How can I allot my time and structure my days in a way that is fitting and right in God’s eyes? How can I live a life of purpose as a mom? Simply by focusing on His call on my life, while blocking out the noise and pull of the world. I have a countable number of days left with my children. I go through each day knowing I can never get it back. I also know that one day—no matter how far away that day may seem at times—I will come to the end of my time with my children. I must count each day spent with them so that when they are gone, I will have no regrets. I want to suck the marrow out of motherhood so that when it is over I can stand before God and say, “I did my best to guard what You entrusted to me.” I pray that on that day I will hear Him reply, “I know.” To me, that is the greatest purpose anyone can have.

Psalm 39:4, “Show me, O Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.”

Discussion: How does this verse impact you? Is there a circumstance in your life that makes it even more real to you than it was before the event happend in your life?