What Love Looks Like

“And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him.”
-I John 4:16-17

The other day, my four year old was giving my one year old a hug. As they laughed and acted silly, they toppled over, still locked in an embrace. As I witnessed this extravagant display of affection, God whispered in my ear, “This is what love looks like. And you taught them that.”

Wow.

As I went through my day that day, I pondered that moment. I thought about what love looks like in our home and the way I model it for my children. There are the little things—the extra chocolate in their chocolate milk, the packs of gum that I say “yes” to in the grocery line, the words of encouragement, and the millions of questions I patiently answer each day. There are also the big things—the lengths I must go to that say, “I love you this much.” I love you this much when I clean up your messes though I’d rather eat bonbons. I love you this much when I choose to share my life with you and make investments in you. I love you this much when I hold you in my arms and look deep into your eyes and marvel at what a blessed mommy I am.

There are also the hard things. Unfortunately, tough love figures into the equation as much as fun love does. As moms we must make the tough choices, the tough sacrifices. We must say no when we wish we could just say yes instead of endure another battle. We must lay down our agendas so that we can take every moment captive to teach and to train. We must mold and shape their character—many times against their will. How much easier it would be if a mother’s love could be simple. And yet, that would not be real life, or real love. I would be doing my children a disservice if I taught them anything else.

As I pondered what it means to model love for my children, I was aware of what a huge responsibility this is. It is sobering to know that the strengths and weaknesses in their future relationships could be traced back to the way I raised them. When I look into their futures and picture them trying to love their friends, spouses and children some day, I realize that hugging and laughing are just the tip of the iceberg. I must teach them to love when it hurts, to love when others don’t “deserve” it and to love without condition. I must teach them to communicate and express their love to the people they value. In short, modeling what love looks like is a big job!

I am so thankful I have a big God to look to as my example. When I start to feel that I can not possibly model perfect love, I let Him be my guide. As I seek to draw closer to Him, I know that is where I must abide. When I think I don’t have anything else to give, I must call out for His help. When I worry that my love just isn’t enough He reminds me that He is enough. And that is all that matters. The best way I can say, “I love you this much,” is to point my children to the One who really does love them with a perfect love. In doing so, I am loving them to the best of my ability and modeling what love looks like. With God’s help, I can show them what love—God’s perfect love—looks like. Not because my love is perfect, but because I can rest in His.

Discussion:
How has God’s faithfulness modeled perfect love in your life? How does the verse quoted above impact your faith, specifically these words: “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.”