Am I being Faithful?

I just took advantage of an opportunity to read the first 13 days’ worth of posts here at Faith Lifts, with this month’s theme being “Faith.”

Wow.

I am so grateful to the women who have posted here for their transparency in sharing their stories. I am awe-struck by our Father’s… I can’t pick just one or two words to describe Him accurately, and even if I could pick, the words just aren’t good enough to even begin to capture His essence. So,
I am awe-struck by our Father.

I am also very honored and humbled to have been asked to be a guest contributor here. I knew I should’ve submitted a post earlier in the month- how can I follow all these great posts so far?

Well, I’d like to offer a different spin on this month’s theme if I may.

When I hear the word “faith”, of course my first thought is faith in God. Do I have it? Do I lack it? How do I get it? What do I do with it? All very important questions. Another important question, I think: Am I being faithful?

This question naturally conjurs up thoughts in my mind of one being faithful to their spouse. It can be a rather heavy topic for some. It is for me.

Please hear me out. I’m not speaking solely to the physical act of unfaithfulness (although that is certainly the culmination of all things unfaithful), there is so much more to “it.” The spiritual, emotional, mental and physical aspects need to all be in balance. Mine have not been. They’re still not totally. God’s working on me and I’m finally letting Him.

You see, from the time I was a child, I’ve been exposed in one way or another to…adultery. It’s such an “ugly” word, isn’t it?

~~And I want anyone out there reading this who may have dealings with this personally to know that there is forgiveness and healing through Jesus
Christ - 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”~~

I won’t bore you with all the gory details. Suffice it to say that when I was growing up, I didn’t have very good examples to follow in the area of marital faithfulness, and therefore (I believe) spiritual faithfulness.

Add to that, my father (with whom I now have a great relationship and love dearly) was not around much while I was growing up. He whole-heartedly believed that the “best” thing he could do for his family was to work hard (which meant alot of hours) to provide for “things.” I know his heart was in the right place concerning that, so I appreciate his devotion and his efforts. Also, he was a difficult and impatient man, when he was around.

2 + 2 = 4

A young girl with ungodly examples relating to marriage + strained, barely-there relationship with Daddy = an emotional minefield!

I’ve had struggles with thoughts and emotions, all while holding to what I thought was faith in God the best I could. But it was my fight and my faith.

Again, 2 + 2 = 4

My fight + my faith = my failure

You see, as recently as August 20th of this year, I battled with impure thoughts and unhealthy emotions. And let me make sure you know that: yes, I am married; and yes, it is happily. I am blessed with a wonderful husband and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has brought us together, but
these thoughts and emotions have been ingrained in my mind since I can remember. I’ve always thought that they’re a part of me. Annoying and troublesome as they are, I’d just have to deal with them with no hope.

So I continued my struggle in my own power (big mistake) and failed miserably.

~~I really pray the Lord can use this crazy post somehow and that this isn’t just me rambling.~~

But then I found this book: Every Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge. Second to the Bible, this is the most incredible book I have ever read. It has changed my life, thanks to the Scripture she quotes and expounds upon. Now not all of the issues in the book deal with me, but I still read every word of it.

If you’d like to know more about my thoughts about this book, please feel free to read the review I posted on my blog.

I’d like to challenge each of you who happen to still be reading (thank you for sticking with me, by the way) to prayerfully and honestly - before yourself and God alone - consider your faithfulness by asking yourself the following questions:

- Do you compare the man in your life to other men (physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually)?
- Do you feel secretly excited or powerful when you sense that a man finds you attractive?
- Do you often choose your attire in the morning based on the men you will encounter that day?
- Do you find yourself flirting (even if you do not intend to) when conversing with someone you find attractive?

Those are just a few of the 25 questions Ethridge asks on pages 16 and 17 of Every Woman’s Battle. “If reading through these questions has awakened
you to the fact that your sexual activity, romantic behavior, or [even] emotional attachments are a hindrance to your spiritual growth or intimacy in marriage, [Every Woman’s Battle] is designed to help you achieve victory in your area of struggle.”

This is my “platform” of late. I feel very strongly about it. I don’t mean to imply that all women struggle with and/or will succumb to temptation in this area, but I do believe that awareness is the key. I have heard of marriages being ruined by activities that seemed to “sneak up” on people. I have seen marriages damaged by people toying around with thoughts and feelings that shouldn’t have been toyed around with. I have experienced the damage the lack of emotional and/or sexual integrity has on a marriage/family in my own way as I watched it happen in my own family.

Please hear my heartfelt concern for each of you when I ask you to consider these things -

Psalms 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try
me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and
lead me in the way everlasting.”

I’m certainly no expert on this subject by any means, but if you’d like more information on a personal and confidential level, please feel free to email me at toreflect (at) hotmail (dot) com, or grab yourself a copy of Every Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge.

God’s richest blessings to you as you seek to follow Him.

Karla is a 30-something Christ follower (who has failed many times and been welcomed back into the Father’s gracious arms with each repentance and rededication), wife to “Bo” for 8 years, mother to a two-year old daughter “Bean”, and full-time legal assistant. She lives in her native state of North Carolina and enjoys spending time with family, genealogy, photography, Sign Language and reading. She blogs with every spare second she can find, but most of all she seeks to reflect the Father’s glory in all things. You can visit Karla at To Reflect His Glory.