There is no bright smile of confidence this morning. My son has far too much on his mind. Today is the first day back to preschool and although he is returning for the “four year old” class after having had a wonderful time in the “three year old” program last year, my son’s shoulders are heavy with worry.
“I don’t like new things Mom,” he insists as we drive to school, “I don’t like making new friends.”
“Jackson, don’t be ridiculous – you make friends in the grocery store!” I counter. “You can find a friend anywhere. You are so friendly. You will have a great time. Don’t worry.”
“No, I don’t make new friends. Kids will make fun of me,” he continues to fret.
I decide to be quiet for the rest of the drive. I know he will be just fine. (And if you met my son in the grocery aisle, you too would know he will be just fine.) And more importantly, I know that the Lord will be walking with him, in these small steps just as He will later in his greater trials.
But watching him I realize that this is what fear does to all of us – it rips apart our faith in God’s strength, provision and comfort. We have a history of God’s provision and companionship, of God leading us through difficult times and equipping us with the tools we need to endure despite our fears and pain, and yet we still worry about the future.
Well if you are like me (and Jackson) you do.
I am a worrier. It is unfortunately one of my defining characteristics and has disabled me throughout my life, gnawing away at my faith.
And yet I have a life that models God’s provision. He has been so generous and merciful to me that I actually feel guilty that He has given me too much. In the lonely, frightening days, He has been my constant companion. But I still worry. What if He stops now? What if I can’t make it this time? What if the next challenge is too terrifying or too difficult?
But tonight, as I look at this picture and hear my son’s little worries running through my mind, “What if I can’t make any friends this time? What if kids make fun of me? What if it is too scary?” I hear God’s message for me.
I know Jackson will be ok, just as my Heavenly Father knows that I will be ok too. I know this because I believe He will not leave Jackson or me. He will be with us, empowering and comforting us. He will provide us with what we need to go on. He will gather us into his arms when we cry. And He will continue to walk with us so we can face what the future holds.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you, he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
Dear Lord,
Thank you so very much for always being with me. You have always provided what I have needed to survive. You have never left me alone as I wept. Forgive me for doubting you Lord. Please strengthen my fledgling faith and help me to grow strong and courageous in you.
Discussion:
Does worry weaken your faith? Despite your past successes do you still fall back into patterns of doubting and fear? How have you felt the Lord strengthen you when you faced times of trial and suffering?
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Beautiful Post, I am guilty of falling back into old patterns certainly. I now however am able to see it before it totally enables me. Fear can be gripping, and has stopped me cold at times. I’am learning to imediately turn it over to God and trust more. It is a process and is not easy to do in the moment.
I love how we have the opportunities to show our children at such a young age how they can be dependant on God in there worries, this is a precious post.
Oh. He DOES look worried. I hate to see that look a little one’s face. When I see worry or fear on a little child’s face, I immediately go into action. First I find out why the worry or fear is there. Then I do whatever it takes to reassure him that everything’s going to be OK.
And of course that’s exactly why we have to give it over to God. He doesn’t like to see that look on His children’s faces either. If we tell Him why we’re worried or afraid, He’ll do what any parent would do. He’ll make it all better.
Worry strengthens my faith. And yes, the Lord definitely strengthens me when I’m facing obstacles I know I can’t handle alone.
The look on Jackson’s face was the perfect vehicle for these words, Janice.
I am still very new to this faith walking process, I have only been in recovery back to God for 2 and one half years now. In the beginning if you would have asked me what faith is I would have said I do not know because I am so sinful for God to Love me enough to Grace Me so that I can learn Faith. Little did I know God knew just how to get me there. He brought me into recovery and that has been my faith building process. Each time I have fought the black dark demons of my past, God gave me his amazing wisdoms and tools to go to the next battle. While I am not on the front lines yet I am still ready for the fight each time now when the demons of my darkness try to take me back to that black pit of despair. I do have faith God is going to keep teacing me, and bringing me his greatest warriors so show me how to get to that front line, and someday even be able to give back to him by being a front line warrior myself for others who are now where I have been. So me and God, Faith, Hope, Grace, and Love are on this journey now learning and growing, and building my Faith stronger each time. YSIC Sonja Brooks
http:/healing-hooves.blogspot.com
I am very guilty of letting worry and fear destroy my Faith. I am really working hard to overcome that. As a lifetime “worrier” it is hard sometimes. But over time I have seen what anxiety and fear can do to you…cause panic attacks, depression, etc. So..I have tried to be sure that when I feel it rushing in on me I turn to Him to get it in control.
Thank you for this blog. It has been such a blessing to me.
Worrying helps me to remember to forget that God will always provide. I just have to let him. Why don’t I always do that?
I hope Jackson had a great day.
What a great post Janice!
I do let worrying affect my faith. And its hard to stop because I am a complete worrier. I am really trying to let things go and give the rest to God… but its a really tough habit to break!
i can SO relate to jackson.
and the thing about worry/anxiety is that it doesn’t stay in one little part of your heart….it takes over if left untended. kinda like the weeds in my garden.
God bless you janice. shalom to your home….
Excellent post, Janice! I find I do slip into worry when major things happen, but I also find, that if I choose to dwell on the worry it gets worse and eventually erodes my faith. But if I choose to put God’s word before me and thinking on the times He has shown Himself faithful, then I am able to trust and squash those worries down a bit. Does that make sense?
Janice this is sonja and i just want to say thank you for visting my bog. for so many years of my life i have been in complete isloation and afraid to have any kind of voice at all. when my fried paulette told me about blogging and said i should start journaling even though i know God loves me now i was still afraid the people of this world that deemed me unworthy would not want to hear the words my heart wants to speak. still these days my faith and courage is always stronger than my fears so i started blogging. my blog is not fancy just kinda simple and plain like me, but still i get so inspired each time God sends someone my way to speak for him to say Sonja is worthy of a voice for praising God…………so thank you for giving my heart and smile and a (((((((hug)))))))) which is another thing God knows I have been without for many many years and my heart needs to have…….YSIC sonja brooks
Wow. This post really hit home. This is exactly what I ‘ve been going through the last few weeks since my hub lost his job. I know that the Lord will provide for us, and we won’t be out on the streets…but it’s soo hard waiting for what’s to come without worrying also. I know he will provide us with a church to go work at…I just wish I could see ahead and know where it is that we’ll be settled. This was a great post!
Oh Janice,
it’s so true. To us our problems and worries are just huge. But when you compare us to Jackson it’s so obvious that they are nothing to God. He knows we’ll be just fine and if necessary He’ll step in and make sure of it.
Wonderful post.
The Lord gave me my husband because I am a worrier. I worry about everything, I worry about dinner. Now my husband, worries about NOTHING, I mean NOTHING. Heck when I met him, I was dating someone else (who at the time I thought was going to be my forever)..well this did not deter husband at all. Many years later I asked him, were you ever worried. And he said “no not at all, I knew you were going to be my wife”. How I wish I could have that faith in God. You see I do have complete faith, but during that faith I worry. I really try and turn over whatever problem I worry about, to God, then and hour later I take it back by worrying about it. It is something the Lord is teaching me.
Great post.
This is a great post, Janice.
I worry a lot and this week, my worry has been mostly about my son. He’s older than yours - in second grade now - but it’s a new school and I’m concerned he won’t find his niche. I think I worry more than I should, though, because he’s a resilient kid and has so many assets. Still, I’d love to think I could shield him from the bumps and bruises of childhood, at the same time knowing that’s ridiculous and impossible.
In response to your question, I think worry doesn’t weaken my faith, but it sometimes gets in the way of it. The faith isn’t any different, but sometimes anxiety accidentally unplugs the chord. And of course, in the midst of worry is exactly when I need to plug in again…
Kelly
Pass the Torch