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I have never been so shocked!
Last night, I was certain that the baby had indeed died. The cramping had slowed, but my pregnancy symptoms seemed to be disappearing. The nausea was improving and even my breasts were no longer sore (I get very sore breasts when I am pregnant – it is my pregnancy “test.”) I was just completely convinced that I had lost the baby.
I had a good, hard cry at about 2am, shaking my fists with frustration and grief, totally devastated that my chances of meeting my little baby seemed to be over.
I got up this morning and decided to go straight to the ER. I wanted an ultrasound to know for sure what was happening inside me.
It was a brutally long wait. I didn’t get to see the doctor till after 1pm. When I finally got to see him, he asked me, “What can I do for you?” I answered, “Get me an ultrasound and a D&C.”
I explained that my last miscarriage was a tedious long experience with weeks of waiting and then months of bleeding. I wasn’t up for it. This time, if the baby had died, I wanted a D&C immediately. He was a wonderfully nice doctor and said that that sounded totally reasonable.
And then I sat and waited. For hours. Honestly, I had so resigned myself to the fact that this baby was already in heaven that my prayers were now focused on a swift and safe D&C. The hospital was overloaded as usual, and I knew the OB was very busy. Getting my surgery tonight would be a long shot. But in case I got the chance, I didn’t eat or drink anything. I just sat in a hard, uncomfortable chair, in a long hallway and waited all day.
Finally, just after 4pm I got my ultrasound. I told the technician, “If this baby is alive, I will fall off this table in shock. But please tell me if you find a heartbeat.” And then I watched her face for any sign of life. Those technicians have some poker faces! Not a hint.
And then she said it, “There’s a heartbeat,” and she turned the monitor for me to see my little tiny baby’s fluttering heart. I burst into tears. Relief. Joy. Disbelief.
I practically skipped back to the ER, announcing to the doctor, “My baby is alive!”
It is still early. The baby is only seven weeks. I know things could still go wrong. But today we got unexpected pardon. For now my baby is alive!
Ironically, I got home and found a message from my doctor’s office asking me to come in. I guess she got my blood test results in and perhaps Friday’s ultrasound. I sure hope nothing is wrong in the blood tests, since it is unusual for them to call me to tell me to come in. But tonight I will try not to worry about that. I have had enough worry in the last few days to last me an entire pregnancy! But I must say, it is making me a bit curious. She doesn’t work tomorrow – so I guess I will have to wait till Wednesday. Why is there so much waiting in life?!?
Thank you again for all your prayers and love. You are incredible friends and I appreciate you so very much!!!
I am so exhausted right now. I only slept for four hours last night and it was a long day sitting in the hospital with no food or water. I am literally shaking my body is so tired. So I am going to go lie down. Thank you again and I will talk to you soon. 🙂
nina says
wow i am experiancing all of that and i am so afraid that the baby just may not be alive any more i have to go to the doctor on the 26th so i am just waiting with so much worrie hoping that everything will be ok what you said really releived a lot of stress thank you
Nell T. says
I experienced cramping and other strange feelings with my second too…happy to say he was born healthy and full term. I wish the very same for you!
Beki (pamperingbeki) says
I’m late, but THANK YOU JESUS!!! I’m just so relieved for you and your post brought me to tears. I know that feeling, all too well, of waiting for the sono tech to give you something, anything… It’s excruciating.
Bless you!!!
~Beki
Candyce says
Janice,
My prayers are with you. I am so thankful that I serve a God who hears our cries and tends to our needs.
Be blessed of the Lord,
Candyce
Psalm 103:2-4
Let all that I am praise the Lord;
may I never forget the good things he does for me.
3 He forgives all my sins
and heals all my diseases.
4 He redeems me from death
and crowns me with love and tender mercies.
Lani from The Wooden Porch says
Praise the good Lord almighty!
Alexandra says
This entry just brought me to tears. I have never had a miscarriage before, but I had many a lot of “close calls” with my second pregnancy. Just about every test I had to take came back abnormal, which was very scary for me. You just want to know that your baby is healthy, and will make it. I am thinking of you & praying that your little one is a healthy little bundle of joy for you! 🙂 Take care!
Kristen says
I am soooooo happy for you! I can feel the joy come through in your post. Congratulations!!! I’ve been in this position before and know what a roller coaster it can be. Take good care of yourself!
Gina says
This post brought tears to my eyes! I’m so happy for you! Now hold on to the hope God has given you and don’t let go!
{HUGS}
In The Midst Of This Season says
Oh Janice,
My heart so relates to you on this journey of highs and lows. But, praise God, today you are on the mountain.
I am continuing to pray for this little one, that he or she is bunkered down for the long haul, that you and your doctor will work through any challenge to come, and that we might rejoice fully with you at the end of 9 months of waiting.
Thank you, God, for this life you created and for your protective hand of healing and comfort for Janice and her baby. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Blessings,
~Toni!
Jana says
So happy to hear this! I will keep praying for you and the baby!
Judi says
Praise the Lord! I know a lot of us have been praying feverishly for you and the baby and will continue to do so~!
Mira says
I’m so happy for you! Will continue praying but glad that you got a good result from your ultrasound.
Allison says
What wonderful news! God is so good and His plan is always so amazing to watch unfold. I will be praying that your blood results are ok and that your little one continues to grow safe and soundly 🙂 God bless!
NtycnBoricua says
That is such good news! Take care and get some rest!
Holly Schwendiman says
Janice, I’m so sorry to hear of your complications and so grateful for your recent pardon. My prayers will be with you both.
Hugs,
Holly
Holly’s Corner
Jenn says
I am soo happy for you – please keep us updated on what the doctor wanted! (((HUGS)))
AnneMarieZ says
this is SUCH good news! hooray for you and your babe! I will continue to pray for you! I gotta tell you, I had a feeling at Mass that all would be good 🙂 Something in my faith told me to keep praying for life 🙂
Get plenty of rest and rub that belly of yours!
Barbara H. says
Janice, I am so thrilled! Though this was the outcome I hoped and prayed for, I had to admit I felt as you did, that the baby was probably already with the Lord. I’m go glad our faith doesn’t rest on feelings!
Hope you get caught up on rest and nutrients today!
Erica says
Praise God!! I am so happy for you!!!
Karla~Looking Towards Heaven says
Praise the Lord!!
Blessings,
Karla
Erna says
I’m so delighted for you!
Gina says
I thought I already left a comment but its not here for some reason?.
I am so happy to hear the good news. Take it easy today.
sidetrack'd says
Praise God! Will keep you and this little one in my prayers. Hope you got some sweet rest.
Jana
MamaDuck says
*hugs* Now rest and food today!! So glad to hear your wonderful news!
Jamie Bird says
I am so happy for you! I had a similar experience where I just knew I miscarried. What I did not realize was that I was carrying twins at the time- so I still had one little heartbeat pumping along. I have never cried such happy tears, or been so thankful for a little life. My son is now two, but I will say I was worried and careful until the 30 week point, only because you love them so much already. Then I went a week over, and thought, Okay God, I can have this baby anytime now!
I will continut to pray that your baby remains strong and healthy! Praise God from whom all blessing flow!
Adventures In Babywearing says
Praise God! I am so excited to hear this and will keep you in my prayers.
Love,
Steph
Jenna says
What blessed news.
ChupieandJsmama says
Big hugs Janice! I am going to continue to pray for you and your little one. I’m also praying that God helps take all of your stress away so you are able to find peace and relax.
Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom says
You have my heart for the next 9 months….Good luck Janice!!!
Lisa - The Scrap Princess says
Janice that is awesome! I was crying while reading this post. I am so happy that the baby is doing well. I will keep praying for you and you will both get through this! And prayers that in a year we will be reading about your miracle baby! Big hugs, Lisa
IRENE says
…and rest, eat light comfort food, keep your mind quiet and your heart grateful. Many happy, loving thoughts.
IRENE says
You and your baby are in God’s hands. Pray and have faith.
Stacey says
(((hugs)) Praying sweetie for you and the little one!!
Terri says
Praise God!
Still praying but happy to hear some good news!
Becky says
That is wonderful news! Still praying for you! 🙂
Kari says
Thank God.
Still praying and sending hugs.
Celeste says
I will pray for you. I have lost many a baby and it hurts so bad. Take it slow and do not pick up anything over 2 pounds! Drink lots of water now.
jen says
Dear Janice
Ive not thought about much else than you the last couple of days
You made my day I came to check on you just before heading to bed its 9pm here in New Zealand
thats awesome news God is good 🙂
still gonna pray for you and bubs
BIG BIG HUG
blessings and love
kailani says
Thank goodness! Get some rest now!
owlhaven says
Praise the Lord!
Mary
KarenW says
Tears of joy here!!! I’m still praying. God bless.
YoungMommy says
I was so happy to hear the wonderful news ~ God is so good!!
You and your little one continue to be in my thoughts and prayers…
christieo says
Oh Janice that is WONDERFUL NEWS!! Thank God! I am so happy for you! There are a lot of people praying for you and your family and we will continue to do so! Bless you and that little peanut!! I wish I could send you a sandwich for all that waiting in the ER! So I’ll send you cyber-((hugs)) instead!
Kristen says
Amen and hallelujah for you Janice! That is the best news I have read all day. I’ve been checking frequently to find some news and I couldn’t be more thrilled for you!
I will continue to pray that this baby will remain safe and sound with you for the next 9 month! Praise the Lord! Sleep well, friend!
Megan says
What fabulous news! Hang in there little one!!
peach says
Praise Jesus! May He enfold you in peaceful rest tonight, dear Janice. Will look forward to your next good report and continue praying until then!
Diane J. says
Yee haw!! Praise the Lord!! I am so happy for you! I’m praying that baby is glued in there until his 9 months are up and it’s the right time for him to make his/her appearance. 🙂
Trista says
So happy to hear all is well. For now just try to focus on the fact that the baby is alive and God willing, you will be holding that baby in Oct. I was heartbroken reading your post last night, I can’t imagine how it must feel to believe that you have miscarried and not know for hours on end. You are stronger than I. (((Hugs)))
Loretta says
I am crying tears of joy for you right now. I hope things continue to be on the bright side for you with this pregnancy. In the meantime rest and take care of yourself.
Mary (Mert) says
Aww, amazing! God is good!I’m still praying for ya. That is good news!
Angela says
Praise the Lord! What wonderful news! I checked in several times today hoping to hear an update. What a rollercoaster of emotions you have been on the last few days. May the Lord give you rest and peace this evening.
“The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face to you and give you peace.” Numbers 6:24-26
Heather says
**tears** That is absolutely wonderful news!!! Now, go get a good nights rest.
Liz (Looney Mom) says
Praise God. I pray that He will comfort you in this difficult time and that there are no more scares. Rest, rest, rest!!
Amelia says
Praising God with you and praying for a good night’s sleep!
Heidi says
Oh, wonderful news. It is so hard to just trust in God and stop the worrying. I’m 14 weeks along right now and I still am fighting with doubt and scary days. Since I had a miscarriage last Sept. Just hold on to that image of the tiny heartbeat! HUGS and prayers!
Robyn says
Praise the Lord *happy tears* Fabulous news Janice! Sleep well, and eat something!!
Amanda says
That is such great news. Even though I don’t know you I am so happy that its ok. : )
Wendy says
YAY!! Talk about good news! I know it’s still really early, but I’m rooting for you and your little one. Hopefully the doc will have some sort of plan when you see her. Make eat something! 🙂
Theresa ♥ says
My last pregnancy was the same way and having had previous miscarriages also I had hardened my heart and then believe that indeed the baby had died. When I went in for my ultrasound the next day, I too was shocked to find that the baby was indeed still very much alive.
Praying all will remain well.
Kimmy J says
Great news! I am so very happy for you and your little one. Make sure to get plenty of rest and keep on doing so. You will stay in our prayers all the way!
Kilikina says
I am so glad! Oh yeah! Hoping everything else continues to go well…
Heather (especially heather) says
You are loved!! I called you this afternoon but your mom said you had gone in to “sit forever and ever and ever” at the hospital ( I never get tired of talking to your mom! She cracks me up! She told me the story about stepping over the man sleeping on the floor at the dentist… LOL)
I am so glad things are good (of course, I prayed that they would be all day) and will now pray that you get an amazing nights sleep and that Jackson will sleep a bit longer tomorrow morning 😉
You are loved!
Heather
Lundie says
Amen. Will continue to keep you in prayer. Oh AMEN!
jessica says
Woooohooo! I am so happy for you! This just made my day! I will continue to pray for you and the little baby! Specifically that God will hold this baby in the palm of His hand and grow it to full term! I, too, have experienced a miscarriage, but went on to have 2 healthy baby girls. Please don’t stress out…just rest and try to relax!
Laurel Wreath says
Girl are you trying to make me cry!! PRAISE GOD!!!!!
Heather says
You and the baby have been in my prayers and on my mind all day. I”m so thankful that you saw the heartbeat. You’ll stay in my prayers.
Carrie K. says
So happy for you. I will continue to pray.
Tiffanie says
I have been praying for you all day!!! I wish I was there to hug you!! Get some rest. God is taking care of that baby!
Kelly says
I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Sleep well tonight. You’ll be in my thoughts…
Amy says
OH I am Thrilled for you!!! All of the prayers have been answered!! I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers! I hope you get some good rest and have some peace of mind now!! 🙂
Big Hugs~ Amy
Tonya says
So glad to hear your news. I have been hoping you would get some peace!
Heather L. says
I am so happy for you!!! I am tearing up right now! Prayers are still being sent up from my world! Thanks for the update!
Amanda says
I’m so glad to hear your good news. I’ve been checking all day for an update on how you and your baby are. I will continue to hope and pray that you and your baby remain healthy and things will be alright.
I know a little of what you are going through and have gone trough. Ironically, today I had a positive pregnancy test. I’m hesitant to tell anyone because my last three pregnancies ended in miscarriage. I can relate to the emotional roller-coaster and the planning for the worst, while still hoping for the best.
Good Luck!
Liza says
Doing a happy dance!!!
One day at a time 🙂 ….
will continue to pray for you and your baby…
earthchick says
!!!! Wonderful. Thank you for taking the time to give us an update. Even those of us out here who are usually lurkers have been thinking of you and your babe, and saying prayers.
Susanne says
Praise God! So excited for you, Janice. Continueing to pray for you and that little one. And yes, go eat something and go to bed!
Crissybug says
WooHoo!!!! This brought me to tears! I pray that everything will be okay. What a wonderful blessing!
stephanie says
How Wonderful!!! Hope you get some good rest tonight.
Southern Girl says
Oh, I’m so thrilled for you! I’ve been checking back every little bit, hoping for good news. I pray that precious little heart continues to beat strongly. Get some rest!
Magnolia Mom says
I’m so glad you have some relief. I’ll continue to pray that things go well for you and your little one. (I’ve been waiting anxiously to hear the news and I’m glad I did!)
Christy says
Praise God! I had to go the HCG route and then wait 10 days to find out about my baby (who didn’t make it) so I was praying for you! I’m so glad you found out today. I hope you get plenty of rest in the days and weeks to come, and hopefully your nausea is gone for good!
Mindy says
God is so good! Get rest and take care of yourself. That baby needs you. We are all going to just continue to hold you and the little one up in prayer.
kelly jeanie says
Praise God!!! What wonderful news. Take care of yourself!