Nobody has to tell us that being a mom can be stressful. We love our kids—we do—but we’re human. And in spite of our love, we sometimes get impatient, frustrated, or just plain tired. So how do we keep the stresses and worries of motherhood from swallowing our joy and banishing our bliss? Here are five tips that can help:
1. Identify Where You Are (or Who knew that being a mom would be like this?!)In the same way you need to have a starting point when getting directions, it helps to know where you are as a mom so you can identify what changes you might need to make. Take an inventory of how you feel today. Are you anxious? Worried? Tired? Do you already know some things you’d like to change in your life? Write them down and let that be your starting point!
2. Love Perceptively, Here and Now (And you’ll see the re-gifts!)Getting caught up in (or weighed down by) the schedule is one of the surest ways to miss the bliss. So much of being blissful is about the way we see things, and what we see. One thing that can help us enjoy the here and now is paying attention to how our kids see the world. Those times we get a glimpse of life from their perspective as they discover the world around them, we get to rediscover it (that’s the re-gift). Think about it: How differently would you feel if you started to look at your life through your kids’ eyes? They see you as amazing, and you should too!
3. Don’t Rush the Journey (or, Just sit tight, hold on, and enjoy the ride!)One day, our kids will move out and there will be no crying in the back seat, no nights with everyone calling us to their rooms, no arguing teenagers, no driving everyone around… and I bet it will be way more quiet than we want it to be. At a time when there is so much joy to be found, it’s ironic that we often (myself included) look forward to the next phase of parenting, when things will be “easier.” But when we can slow down long enough to let those moments of bliss into our days… they do. Don’t rush the trip to the park. Walk slower. Hug longer. Relax and read stories tonight. And let the bliss happen.
4. Love Your Dreams (Moms can soar too!)Do you remember the dreams you had for your life… but barely? How many of us, after becoming moms, lose sight of the passion that once stirred our hearts? (It can be hard to soar with piles of laundry blocking your runway!) Being a mom means you have more on your plate for sure, but it shouldn’t mean setting your dreams on a shelf forever. When I used to dream of being a writer, I heard a speaker say, “Just start, and then you are a writer.” So that’s what I did, even if it was just for 30 minutes a day while the kids were napping. Years later, my dream of being a writer is a reality. If you’re in that place I once was—longing for something, but not sure how to make it happen… just start.
5. Ask for Help When You Need It (or, Nobody benefits when you are the martyr, including you.)A couple years ago, I broke my arm and dislocated my knee in two separate, random falls—both within a week of each other. The timing was terrible, with my husband Mike on a business trip for ten days. As an independent person, it was hard accepting help from others. Yet it was also a blessing-in-disguise. My family and friends helped with dinners, getting the kids to and from activities, and even things like washing my hair. The experience taught me an important lesson. Sometimes as moms, we feel like we have to have it all together, and that if we need help, we aren’t doing our job. But that’s not true. When we ask for help, our load is lightened. And that makes a huge difference (less stress, and more bliss!).
For more tips and inspiration on finding happiness as a mom, download my free gift for moms for the holidays!
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Genny is a mom, author, speaker and coffee lover. Stop by her blog and share a cup!