Tackle it Tuesday- Tackling the Marital Rut

by Jennifer Sikora

Tackle It Tuesday

Today’s guest tackle comes from Sherrie Campbell.

 It is too easy to get stuck in habituated patterns in a marriage that become rote and uninspiring.  As we get too familiar with our partners we can become more like siblings, lacking desire.  There are so many ways to make your marriage juicy.

You have to decide what you want your marriage to feel like and live it out consciously.  If you had passion for your partner in the beginning there is no other reason than laziness if that passion goes away.  Remember, familiarity breeds boredom.  Step outside the comfort zone of your routine and make your marriage spicy!

8 Ways to a Juicy Marriage:

1. Love yourself and your individual life: Independence and a sense of purpose are sexy. So whether you engage in personal development, spiritual enrichment, working out, having a great career, you become a person that is more confident, peaceful and evolving.  This makes you more unpredictable and interesting to your partner.  If you have no love for yourself or passion for your life, you will not offer anything new to make things juicy.  There is nothing juicier than looking at your partner and finding them intriguing

2.  Connect with Your Dreams:  Become passionate and invigorated in all the things you do.  If you are going to clean the house, walk the do,g or embark on a new purpose — do it with a great attitude.  Nurture the vision of what kind of energy you dream to have as a person and extend that out.  It is amazing how a passionate person with a great attitude becomes very sexy to their partner.

3. Flirt: Flirting opens a marriage up to fun.  Send your partner sweet and sexy text messages they would not be expecting.  We all love to feel that we are desired, attractive and still sexy.  Newness is sexy, and flirting is a great way to make things feel new and fresh again.

4. Surprise your partner with an unexpected gift:  Do not wait around for holidays or other events to take the initiative to show thoughtfulness.  Send a little gift or plan a great night, just because.  It is often more meaningful to receive an unexpected surprise then to receive one that is planned and expected.

5.  Show Pride in your Partner:  In marriage it is easy to freeze your partner into a fixed perception/role.  Get out of that.  Publicly brag about your partner’s amazing qualities.  Refrain from making them the brunt of a joke.  Your partner needs you to act maturely instead of like a teasing child/bully (not sexy).  Embrace their positive qualities and let them know you fully have their back.

6. Quality Time:  Plan special time for the two of you. Date night should be mandatory.  The kids need to see you going out, having fun, touching and laughing together.  You need to focus on being a fun and engaging couple.  Quality time helps you to take a moment…to reconnect and remember how great your relationship really is.

7.  Laugh and be light hearted:  Marriages that are not juicy have a bad case of seriousness.  Life, work, kids, financial pressures, restraints all have a way of taking over and engulfing the marriage.  Take a break, put the stress on the side and find the lighter side of the day to smile and laugh about.  There is nothing sexier than a smile and a happy partner.  It’s hard to feel juicy about a Debbie-downer. We are all capable of laughing, even in the worst of times.

8. Be intimate with your partner: This is the playground of a marriage. Be fun with your partner.  Fun does not mean you have to engage in crazy acrobatics, it just means have fun. Do not “do it” for obligations sake.  At the end of the day intimacy together can really only make you feel good.  Get out of the rigidity that can happen, be open to having a great attitude and allow yourself to be juicy.

Your relationship is what you make it, so if you have allowed the quality of the relationship to drop, be inspired to make it better again.  It is not hard to do.  A marriage is like a company.  If you quit putting in deposits it will go bankrupt.

Little Life Message:  Love yourself so you have love to give and then share that love with your partner.

Dr. Sherrie Campbell is an author and a licensed Psychologist with more than nineteen years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life. Click here to get her free article on Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication.   She is a featured expert on a variety of national websites and has a successful practice in Southern California. Receive free insights from Sherrie and to be involved in her Facebook community of others looking to improve their relationship. For more information visit http://www.sherriecampbellphd.com.

Calling All Tacklers!

We’re looking for YOU – guest bloggers to post about your own tackles right here. If you are interested in showing off your tackles (we all need some tips and ideas!) then contact us . Thanks for your inspiring tackles!!

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Find out more about how Tackle It Tuesday began.

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Basically, Tackle It Tuesday is about giving ourselves incentive, deadlines and satisfaction in tackling all our tasks — whether household or otherwise.

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Tackle it Tuesday is managed by Jennifer. You can find Jennifer blogging at Jen’s Journey and tweeting at @jennifer_sikora.



Email Author    |    Website About Jennifer Sikora

Jennifer is the Advertising and Communications contact here at 5 Minutes for Mom. When she is not busy answering emails here, you can find her sharing about her life on her own blog at www.jennifersikora.com. You can also find her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/jennifer_sikora or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/jenandherfinelife.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Faigie June 18, 2013 at 12:00 pm

I think of all the marriage ideas the one that is most important is the making a date time together. It is real communication that make a marriage strong and its real hard to do if you don’t make time to spend together communicating

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2 Andrea June 18, 2013 at 6:56 pm

Finding time for one another is definitely important for both partners in marriage. I also believe that continuing to flirt, leaving each other surprises and listening to one another are also big in healthy marriages. Both parties have to continue to feel needed and wanted by their spouse in order to stay happy in a marriage so we should be continuing to look for ways to communicate to our spouse that we love, need and want them. :)

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3 Vague June 18, 2013 at 7:05 pm

This reminds me of another article I read http://girlsguideto.com/articles/15-ways-to-stay-married-for-15-years

Basically, love your spouse or significant other how you want them to love you without expecting that they wouldn’t do they same.

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