The blogosphere, is it high school all over again?

by Susan

Do YOU think the blogosphere is cliquish and like high-school?

Before Miranda from Keeper of the Cheerios went to BlogHer 09, she wrote about how the blogosphere reminded her of the stereotypical drama of high-school.

When Miranda returned from BlogHer 09, she wrote“my post about blogging being like high school rings true more now than ever before and I’m somewhat disgusted in the blogosphere.”

(By the way, we adore Miranda and we loved meeting her in person at BlogHer.)

Janice and I LOVE attending all types of blogging meetups and conferences. While we agree it can feel a bit cliquish and even somewhat like high-school, we don’t let that bother us.

But we wanted to know what other women at BlogHer thought.

So we asked several bloggers at the BlogHer09 conference if they feel the blogosphere is like high-school and if they find bloggers jealous and competitive.

What they said might surprise you… take a listen…

Thanks to our Sponsors

Kmart DesignWe again thank Kmart Design for sponsoring these video interviews so that we can bring the BlogHer 09 experience home to you.

But what do YOU think???

Do you think BlogHer is cliquish?
Do you think BlogHer is like high school?
Do you think bloggers are jealous of each other?
Do bloggers have a competive nature?

Leave us a comment and let us know.

 

Written by Susan, co-founder of 5 Minutes for Mom.
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Email Author    |    Website About Susan

Susan Carraretto and her identical twin, Janice Croze, created 5 Minutes for Mom in 2006. Susan loves all social media, but her top addiction these days is Pinterest. She recently published a children's book titled "The Pest Detectives" which you can download now in digital format for free.

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Heather August 17, 2009 at 8:22 pm

I did not attend BlogHer so I can’t offer my two cents on that one – but knowing bloggers who have high readership, I have nothing but respect for them. The fact that they can continually captivate their audience to continue coming back and to attract new readers is fantastic. While some bloggers may have “celebrity-like” status, I find they are very approachable. For example, meeting Janice at the Startup Princess was not intimidating in the least. Very down to earth, friendly & approachable. We are all women & mothers and it is what you make of it.

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2 Adventures In Babywearing August 17, 2009 at 9:22 pm

Great video- very interesting to hear their points of view. I found BlogHer not cliquish or like highschool, but SINCE BlogHer, I do find Twitter and blogs quite catty and more mean than I ever remember high school.

Steph

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3 * TONYA * August 17, 2009 at 9:33 pm

Great series of interviews girls.

I loved BlogHer and as somebody said on the interview, it is what YOU make of it. I didn’t notice any cliques. What I did notice was lots of friends who have obviously been together before having a great time. You just have to realize that these great bloggers are people and to not approach them because you think that they are unapproachable is ridiculous. I met some amazing women and was probably more recognizable by my high pitched squealing when I recognized somebody … yes, again, sorry for the elevator incident, hope your ears weren’t ringing on the rest of your ride :) … to me so many of these women were more important than a celebrity so I made an extra effort to try to meet them.

I didn’t find BlogHer like high school, however the blogosphere in general of late, there have been quite a few who have been acting like they are still in high school, which is really quite sad to see. I also do see that there is a little competitiveness between certain bloggers and of course there will be a little jealousy. We are women afterall, there are going to be moments when we are a little green with envy.

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4 Forgetfulone August 17, 2009 at 10:03 pm

Thanks for the great interviews! What I’ve wondered about blogher the last two years is if it is something someone who blogs for fun, just a hobby, would want to attend and could benefit from rather than a conference for “professional” bloggers. Can you enlighten me?

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5 brandy August 17, 2009 at 10:22 pm

i don’t know about blogher, i wasn’t there. as far as the blogosphere i would say yes. there are many group forums that are private, and bloggers who choose their friends t share when networking with companies. it feels like high school, because there is a lot of petty drama, people hate each other and tell the world, get their friends involved etc.
i have been blogging for a year, and feel like i haven’t made any friends in the blogosphere

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6 Nicole August 17, 2009 at 10:23 pm

I think anywhere you have more than one woman in one place, there’s going to be some drama, differences, hurt feelings, comparisons, jealousy, etc. But, there’s also going to be friendship, collaboration, and relationship. I guess its your choice which you focus on.

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7 Organizing Mommy August 17, 2009 at 10:45 pm

I’m oblivious to it, if there is drama. The readers and commenters on my blog are so sweet and have wonderful things to do and say with their lives. Can it be said that highschool drama queens attract each other? And middle aged-mama queens do the same? Not sure. If I ever do get to blogher, I’m going to sit at my own table with a sign “Dorks sit here”..

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8 Shirley August 17, 2009 at 10:58 pm

I haven’t had any bad experiences in blogosphere…most everyone I’ve met has been friendly and supportive. That’s not to say everyone always agrees about everything, but most have been respectful when disagreeing. There are exceptions of course, but they have been rare. Cyber world is like the real world, some people are nice and some are not. I just ignore the trolls.

I can’t say the same about bulletin boards and forums. The toxic behavior I’ve seen is shocking. Women attacking each other, calling each other names, ganging up on one person to ridicule and insult them. One of the most toxic ones has been the QVC community forums. One woman who often bragged about her life gave out too much personal information and people actually searched for her on the internet They found and posted pictures of her that showed she didn’t look anything like the way she described herself. They ridiculed her hair, her face, her clothes…it was unbelievable.

I will say that the QVC administrators delete threads that are inappropriate but still, someone is often hurt in the meantime.

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9 Shannon (The Mommy-Files) August 17, 2009 at 11:42 pm

Thanks for a great post! I think all you can do is make sure you aren’t cliquish or gossip about others yourself.

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10 thatgirlblogs August 18, 2009 at 12:05 am

I’ve never gone but I know it would be a blast. Some of those ladies looked a little… drunk? which makes it seem like high school ;)

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11 Hillary August 18, 2009 at 1:24 am

I think the blogosphere can be cliquish, but I also think a lot of those feelings stem from what you, as a blogger, want. If you want the “big names” to recognize you, befriend you, comment back, or link back to you, it’s probably not going to happen. So, you can either, a. be upset by it, or b. move on.

When I first started blogging, I would have given anything to have been recognized. Now, however, I don’t really care. I grew up; I got over it. Because of this, I have befriended several wonderful women through our blogs. Were they my first choices for blogging buddies? Honestly, no. But they have turned out to be my most loyal commenters, and women I can turn to for anything. They are true friends, though we have yet to meet in person.

So, is the blogosphere like high school? Only if you make it so. If some bloggers are cliquish, stop following them; don’t be the wallflower who is desperate to get noticed by the prom queen. Befriend the other wildflowers; there are some real, undiscovered gems out there.

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12 SarahHub August 18, 2009 at 9:17 am

I didn’t make it to BlogHer, but I still wanted to weigh in here.

I haven’t noticed any cliques or “high school” behavior. I’ve been blogging for over a year, and have met so many supportive and sweet women. The community is why I continue to blog, instead of just writing in a journal…

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13 CMC August 18, 2009 at 11:22 am

I can relate this to a situation I had over the winter. I belonged to a forum which, by definition, should be an exchange of opinions. What I learned, however, was that the catty women there had their own coffee klatch/clique thing going on, and anyone who DARED tell them something was black when they didn’t want to hear that (even though it really WAS) was ousted. Simply for having an opinion.

What they wanted was a bunch of Stepford posters – people who just blindly followed the pack. Sorry, I’ve never been a sheep and never will. Most who know me value my opinion, but they also know that unless they want to hear the God’s honest truth, they probably shouldn’t be asking me, because I’ll tell it like it is.

I was ousted from that forum, simply for having an opinion. Another board member even had the audacity to tell me that my posts were “negative,” simply because my opinion differed from hers. No, not “negative,” just “different.” I won’t conform and sugar-coat things or tell you what you want to hear; I will tell you exactly what I think! I was always respectful and never cussed or anything – I just wasn’t one of their puppets and they had very distinct clique and made it abundantly clear that they had no desire to let anyone else in. Why bother taking in new members, then, if you are only going to treat them like outcasts and never truly accept them???

So, yeah, that was high school for me, and I didn’t like hs the first time, why on Earth would I want to do it again??? They did me a favor; I wasn’t learning anything and came to realize that they are not people with whom I care to associate, anyway.

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14 Cat August 18, 2009 at 5:54 pm

I’ve always considered myself to be friendly and open to everyone. And I think if most people followed a similar beat you’d find yourself surrounded by less drama.

There will always be cliques in every aspect of life, it’s up to you to open your eyes to them, break down barriers and find friends in all places.

@CMC sorry to hear you had an experience like that. I’ve been apart of a blogging forum for over a year that has been the best group every, drama free and open to all opinions. I think you just need to find the right place to settle in, not give up on them entirely.

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15 Casual Friday Every Day August 18, 2009 at 6:02 pm

I’ve seen more clique and catty behavior on twitter, but really haven’t seen it on the blogs I read. Admittedly, I don’t read a large amount of blogs though. I don’t have time to read hundreds of blogs each week. The small amount (I’d say 20 or so) that I read each week are sweet wonderful ladies.

Nell

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16 Mozi Esmes Mommy August 18, 2009 at 10:39 pm

Never thought of it this way, but you know, it really is like high school… There are the book bloggers (nerds?), the cheerleaders, the religious, the let it all out kind, just about every group I knew in high school. And just like back then, I kind of mingle in all the circles but am not fully a part of any of them! NOW I can see exactly why I haven’t found “my blogging niche” – it started back in high school already!

As far as BlogHer itself – I am of course a little annoyed that I can’t be a part of the ad network – I tried once. Other than that, I reserve judgment. It neither impresses me or disgusts me! :)

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