To My Son, On the First Day of First Grade…

As your Mom, Jackson, I have the bittersweet job of helping you grow up. With each step I cheer, my heart cringes a little. I am preparing you for a world without me.

Today, you took one of life’s huge steps and became a first grader.

You didn’t hold my hand. No – you walked ahead of me, lost in your own thoughts and nerves.

I hung back and hid behind my camera, recording it all for my sentimental heart. (One day – when you and Olivia no longer need my time – I will at least have the photos to scrapbook.)

I couldn’t bear to leave. I hung around as long as I dared and kept clicking away.

I was so proud of you, watching you bravely attack this new stage of life without even glancing at me for approval or help, and yet I missed my baby that clung to me just a few years ago.

Yes, you are growing up so fast – despite how badly I want to slow it all down.


Comments

  1. says

    I did the same thing when I dropped Noah off for first grade on Tuesday. I wanted him to want me there, but he was off and running. the only reason he let me walk him in was because he had two bags full of supplies that he couldn’t carry by himself. I did manage to get a couple of pictures though…I doubt I will get that next year.

  2. says

    Well you’re both doing a darned sight better than I did!

    My [now] 27 year old wanted to walk to school ALONE aged 11, ridiculous child, all that traffic and who knows what! I agreed in principle and then followed her in the shadows for a week just to make sure that no made axe man attacked her in the wee small dimly lit hours of ‘walk to school’ time.

    The second week as I crept alone like an invisible shadow, she turned on me, hands in pockets and a face of defiance – “I’m fine mum, I’m still alive!” I shuffled off back home with my tail between my legs.

    She’s since traveled to China, Mozambique, Europe, Tibet and back packed her way around the world solo.

    Next time she goes, I plan to secret myself in the back pack.

    Cheers

  3. Carrie says

    A heartbreaking moment, for sure. Just think, you could homeschool and you wouldn’t have to go through this… *grin*

    I must say this is a nice change from the “buy this product, buy that product, go to this partner’s website, here’s some viral advertising for a site we’re hooking up with, here’s all the posts from all the other commercial blogs we’ve set up…” stuff that’s taken over this blog lately. I realize this is a business for you two, but I think you may be losing your roots and getting caught up in the commercialization. There is such a point as “too much”, when a blog becomes one huge commercial.

    The blast of music from the advertisement on the right (before the playroom game pops up) doesn’t help either. Website visitors should be able to *choose* sound, not have it forced upon them.

  4. says

    You’re making me tear up!
    Gosh, I’m having a hard enough time taking my oldest to preschool today for the first time!

    Thank God for the pictures, right?

  5. says

    I go through the same thought process as you and it’s so hard. I got teary eyed reading this post. Someone once told me that once kids go to school they no longer belong to the parents. Not that I totally agree with that but it is hard when you realize that there are so many more people now that will be influencing these young lives. Can’t they just stay pre-school age for a little longer??

  6. says

    Thanks so much ladies for sharing your feelings about your kids growing up too. It helps to know we are not alone. :)

    Carrie – Thank you so much for your input on our site. We have been concerned about the lack of personal posts that we have been doing. But I guess we sometimes wonder if people even want to read about us and our kids! So thank you so much for letting us know your opinion. We will definitely try to get back to publishing more personal posts.

    Also – we had NO idea that music was playing automatically on our site. It doesn’t do that for us and we are THOROUGHLY against music that plays without opting in. We had no clue and we are taking it down immediately. THANK YOU!

  7. says

    Wow, I got a little choked up on this one. Not exactly sure why…I guess I am thinking of my little girl who still clings to me and needs me. I haven’t exactly thought of the day that she doesn’t need me like that anymore. :(

  8. says

    :( I’m sitting here, literally crying for you. Even though my two are only 1 month old and almost 3 years old, I get all teared up just thinking about them going to school and leaving me. I feel for you today!

  9. says

    Ahhh…I am so in touch with that emotion! Motherhood can feel so unnatural at times. You are supposed to help them move on without you and all you want is that baby back in your arms.

  10. says

    So sweet. My oldest will be graduating high school this year, my second and third started headstart and the fourth one is going to daycare for the first time so I know exactly what you mean.

  11. says

    My oldest started Kinder this year.People asked me if I was sad she started school, but actually I am so excited for her! I am excited for her to learn and explore her world, to make new friends and become an amazing little person. I have tried the best that I can in her short 5 years to help her be as prepared as she can, now I have to let her try out her wings!

    My youngest started pre-school this week as well. Oh and she mastered potty training, (she is only 22 months)My babies have grown so much!

    Maybe I wont feel this way next year, since I do work in her Kinder class as the Teacher’s Aide.

    I love the pictures of Jackson, he has grown a lotover this past year, so independent. You must be one very proud Mamma.

  12. says

    Big (((HUGS))). I know my oldest started kindy this year, and I just can’t believe. I cried so much not wanting to let her go from my wings so to speak. She has been with me for the last six years and it was so hard letting her be in someone else’s care during the day.

  13. landezwa says

    aagh shame u’ll be fine..mine is going to grade R next year and i’m tressing as in now..im going 2 mic him hey!

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