Today at 5 Minutes for Books and at Snapshot, Jennifer went back eight years to the day she discovered her first-born was not perfect. It got me thinking about my own babies’ imperfections.
I think for us as moms our babies are perfect to us, and then when someone else says they have a defect, it breaks our hearts. Because to us they’re perfect, but here’s some doctor telling us they’re not. And it hurts. Almost like we’re middle school children on a playground and the mean kid is teasing our little sister.
At Sophia’s 8 month check-up, the doctor punched me in the stomach when he told me my precious baby girl had a BIG HEAD. And not just a little big — 99th percentile big.
I heard that mean doctor say my perfect little baby had a disproportionally big head and a tiny 5th percentile body.
Her head is too big and her weight has dropped to the 5th percentile. Something might be seriously wrong, and I need to bring her back in a month. “But don’t worry.” He added, acknowledging that his suggestion was impossible for me to follow. “I know you’re going to worry… but you shouldn’t. She’s probably fine, but I can’t say for sure. You need to bring her back in a month and we’ll see.”
I left feeling sad.
I felt like a terrible mother because I was so convinced that my perfect little baby was healthy and growing wonderfully that I hadn’t brought her back for a check-up since she was 2 months. She’d been measured and weighed at her 6 month immunizations, and the nurses there hadn’t been concerned, so I’d been slack about getting to the doctor.
I felt stupid.
What kind of idiot mother doesn’t take her baby for regular check-ups? Neglectful ones like me, that’s who. Ones who are too busy working on their websites, and miss their daughters’ 4 month and 6 month appointments.
I felt scared.
What if something was really wrong? Most of me didn’t think it actually was something serious. She’s meeting milestones and acting like you’d expect an eight month baby. And besides her dad has a big head and was crazy thin all his life too.
But there’s that mean kid on the playground again running around saying my family has BIG HEADS!
We don’t want to hear it.
In our love, they are perfect.
As the newness of baby days turns to toddlerhood, I think it becomes easier for us to see them as little people who of course have strengths, weaknesses and — yes — some imperfections. But when they’re babies, so preciously fresh from heaven, we just want to believe they’re perfect.
 |
5 Minutes for YOU to read, relax, & connect with other moms. We're here to inspire, encourage & empower you.
{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
shes beautiful! I go through the same thing. exspecially when i take my son out. my son is 6 months wieghs 23 pounds and is 29 1/2 inches long.
i get snickers all the time he is to fat, what are you feeding him etc. it hurts. the doctor said he’s fine though. he’s in the 99% for both weight and height. so it evens out.
you know, that kind of stuff gets me fired up. I stopped asking about percentiles and comparisons with babe no. 3. (or was it with no. 2, can’t remember). all those comparisons just gets us worried about too fat/too thin/ too ? or not enough whatever. sure, you may catch a problem here and there, but for the most part you just don’t need to pay attention to that chart. esp. with a breastfed baby.
of course I’m not a doctor, so your mileage with this advice will vary. I’m just another opinionated mom with high speed internet
your Sophia looks fine and healthy to me.
She’s so gorgeous! I think unless the percentile thing was for breasfed babies I would not be worrying about it. If your baby is doing fine you have no reason to run to the doctor all the time just to confirm that, so don’t beat yourself up about not doing multiple check ups. If he can’t even tell you anything for another month, those past visits don’t matter anyway!
Plenty of babies have big heads and that’s all it is–just a big head. Someday they grow into it and all is well. She’s so stunning that I can’t imagine anyone making fun of her!
Hang in there…
She’s gorgeous in those photos – absolutely perfect!
She really is beautiful. You aren’t imagining that.
Most of the babies have bigger heads than their body. This is very natural.:) Your baby is beautiful.
And whatever they say, it doesn’t matter.
She IS perfect! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
My son was in the 97th percentile for height and the 40th for weight at his four (?) month check-up. Which basically meant he was really long and really thin. But you know what? He was still perfect. Sure, he was lankier than most babies, but I loved it! He’s still long and pretty lean, and I think it makes him look older
I’m sure she’s just fine. Both my daughter’s have “big heads.” They’ve always been in the 90-95th percentile. My older daughter was in the 50th to 70th in weight while my baby is only in the 25th for weight. And no problems. Big headed babies are absolutely adorable!
Your baby is perfect. Perfectly formed exactly the way God wants her to be. No matter what anyone says or thinks. Even us as parents.
As a side ntoe, I cringed when I read your little one had immunizations at 6 months…please take a sec. to read this little article (below). If you want more info., I have prepared an packet about 90 pages long that I can emial off at ANY time.
God bless-
Amanda
http://iammommy.typepad.com/my_weblog/vaccines/index.html
She looks perfect to me! I know it’s not easy, but really try not to worry, I’m sure she’s gonna be just fine.
She’s wonderful! What a beautiful baby! Don’t worry.
My son was a big-headed baby and a big-headed child. We used to say he just had lots of brains. He’s 15 now and he’s grown into his big head, but we no longer say he has lots of brains…he’s a teenager! Your daughter is beautiful.
I agree with all the other ladies that your adorable baby looks perfect.
He looks a picture of health to me. Great photos.
You know…While reading this I thought this is so me! My daughter Pea has always been tiny, just squeaking by to get on the charts. At her nine month check, her head was in the 75th percentile, and her weight wasn’t even chartable. You are right however, she’s perfect. I’m always sick and tired of people commenting on how tiny she is. I don’t think that’s a good thing to tell a girl anyhow! Instead, I tell her she’s perfectly normal, and healthy.
You’ve got a little cutie there…I love those pictures!
Sophia is absolutely beautiful and her smile just radiates happiness. I was never too concerned with percentile as long as they were growing. I am sure everything will be fine, but I too worry as soon as they say don’t. Zoe wanted to create her own little Mii on Wii the other day so she could “exercise like mommy” with Wii Fit and once we entered everything in it said she was obese. I think not!! I was really upset with darn machine cause I know my child is the perfect size.
Oh gosh, she’s DARLING and trust me- babies’ heads come in all sizes. Carter was always OFF THE CHARTS with his huge head and Gray was in the NEGATIVE percentile for the longest time- such a little head. He’s still only in the 4th percentile at 2 1/2 now, I think!
Steph
Your baby is beautiful!
momtofivekids.blogspot.com
What a beautiful baby. So glad to read this post as I think most moms, at least the imperfect ones have been there done that too. I felt pretty stupid myself when my doctor asked about my 4th baby’s shots and what he needed next– I couldn’t answer. I said, you should know, you have his record. He smiled and said nothing else. I felt in control!! Thanks for your thoughts and take care of that baby–she’s so cute!!
But she’s so cute!! And whatever, she’ll totally grow into her head.
My husband and I are both quite thin, and his head is MASSIVE! You’d never notice unless I pointed it out because he’s 6’4, and the bigger you get the less disproportionate your body looks. Part of me is terrified that we’ll have these skinny, bobble-headed babies (and that I’ll have to push them out!), and then the rest of me realizes that, if they’re half as good-looking as he is, they’ll be fine.
Oh my goodness she is absolutely adorable. I don’t think her head looks big at all. Thanks for sharing this post and pictures.
Your daughter is beautiful! I just love her smile.
My daughter has a huge head too. Hers is big enough that she’s been labeled as having macrocephaly. Yes, my daughter has a physical disability and a speech impairment but they aren’t related to her large head. Heck, she had a CT Scan and a MRI when we first found out about her hypotonia and nothing on either scan showed anything wrong what so ever.
So, I wouldn’t worry. Your daughter looks like she’s doing very well. Does anyone else in your or your husband’s family have a large head?
She’s a beauty, for sure! I despise numbers, and wish that doctors wouldn’t even mention all the nitty-gritty details. My daughter is 5th for weight, 60th for head circumference, so I guess it’s (to quote my favorite movie), “like an orange on a toothpick”
She’s perfectly fine, as I’m sure your little girl is, too. Shame on that mean doctor.
My own HUSBAND says our kids have big heads
And you’re not the only one missing check-ups. Every time we set foot in that office my kids catch some nasty bug. I only go in there if they’re already sick,and even then I don’t like it!
She is beautiful and no fear, my daughter has grown off of the charts since day one. I always found the doctor’s concern a bit odd being her dad is over 6 feet tall so wasn’t all that abnormal that she was growing so much over the percentile. Now she’s 11 and taller than I am and constantly gets compliments on how beautiful she is. I ask her if she ever get teased about her height or does it bother her if people constantly ask her about it and she says no to both. And I tell her if ever she does have someone tease her about it, look to the word of God and who He says you are as well as allowing it to shape you in how you treat others that are different from you.
Haven’t found a way to just raise her in a bubble just yet so that’ll do j/k:)
testing, please delete
My son was in the 95% and he was long and lean. My Dr. told me not to pay attention to those charts as long as he gained some weight. Im sure you daughter is going to be fine! Please let us know after your next visit
P.S. my son still cant wear childrens size hats and he’s 3 1/2
Big (((HUGS)))! We went through the same thing with my oldest daughter. They sent her for head ultrasounds, two CT Scans and then 2 years later another CT Scan. All to find out she is perfectly normal.
My husband and I both have big heads too so I know it runs in the family. Babies are all different, they are each a molded miracle by God so we should expect all babies will not follow the growth chart right?
.
She is truly beautiful little girl Susan. It will all be ok!!!
She is beautiful! And you know what- those head measurements are guesses at best. There is no way to get a perfect measurement of the head.
I have a relative whose head is big and her doctors were concerned too. But, she is just fine and her body is catching up with her head.
You’re going to worry cuz you’re a mom. But you are a good mom- and you’re working to give your kids the best you can. Don’t feel like you did something wrong by missing a doctors appointment.
Try not to worry too much. ((((HUGS))))
Sophia is a beautiful baby. And as her mom you know her best. So why take her to the doctor’s if you don’t need to? But I know how hard it is to hear from anyone or to realize yourself that your child isn’t perfect. While you don’t expect them to be perfect you don’t necessarily think they will be different, the first time it’s brought to your attention is so hard.
Looking back to when my I realized that my daughter had a speech delay I was so emotional. Probably over-reacted (I blame it on being pregnant) but it was the first time the concept of no one’s perfect was driven home
I have had these same thoughts myself. My son was two years old when he had two unexplained seizures. I rmember thinking, “What if he’s NOT perfect? What if there’s something seriously wrong with him, and I never knew it??” It was heartbreaking to even think about! Luckily, he’s now been seizure-free for three years, and I now know he’s NOT perfect, but pretty DARN close!
you know when my #3 was born I was told something similar.. than the doctor added.. well do big heads run in your family? cuz that might be it too! sheesh..
Hugs Susan, i really do understand!
she’s beautiful. how did you resist the urge to drop kick the doctor for his rude comments?
Sophia is beautiful! And no one knows her better than you do – not the doctors,not those crazy charts. Who thought those charts up anyway? I’ll bet it wasn’t a mom! My kids are all grown up now…don’t know how they survived without being measured and placed in a percentile!!!
Echoing what everyone else is saying, Sophia is absolutely gorgeous, (her head doesn’t look bigger than any other baby’s to me), and I LOVE her name (it was our second choice). What a smile! Maybe, in keeping with her name, she’s so full of wisdom that her head has to make room, and the rest of her just needs to catch up.
My daughter has struggled with growth issues since birth due to an intestinal birth defect. It’s so hard not to get caught up in the fact that she’s only in the 3rd percentile for weight, but she is healthy and happy and active – - what else could we ask for?? As others have also said, I would advise not to fret about the charts and comparisons to others too much. Sophia is unique, just like every child. Doctors need to use something as a guideline, and these charts help, but I’m sure that in most cases, kids who don’t fit the “norm” still end up being fine.
Check out my blog about parenting at:
http://psychmamma.wordpress.com
Your daughter is simply adorable.
My girlfriend’s son had a larger head for a little while, but over the past year or two, his body’s “grew into it” and he’s just as cute now as he was then. I’d try to not worry too much, especially since it sounds like she’s developing normally.
When Callum was born at 11lbs 4oz, I was REALLY getting tired of the jokes such as “Did he come out walking (talking, saying his ABCs)?” “He’ll be going to school pretty soon, eh?” etc, etc… He has a pretty big head too. Your daughter is NOT defective. All parts are there and in good working order!
Well, she sure looks perfect to me. So beautiful and stunning eyes and smile. Big head, bah. My nephew and son both had(have) big heads. They grew into them. But, I will say that it doesn’t stop people from saying something.
That was a beautiful heartfelt essay that I think all moms can relate to. She’s beautiful and I’m sure you’re a wonderful mom…
First of all, you are NOT a bad mother, you are an exceptional one.
Second of all, my daughter was induced two weeks early because of her head size. She is over 100% on the charts, always has been, and at 3, her weight is catching up. There is NOTHING wrong with her.
XOXO
My son’s head was in the 95th percentile. It’s always been big, so the doctor wasn’t alarmed. I STILL have to stretch out the necks of his shirts before putting them on him. lol
The doctor gave me a time about my daughter because she was so small – 5th percentile for height and weight. She has always been small and I was a small child. Finally, at the next well visit, the doctor said that my daughter would be about 5′ 1″ tall. No kidding! Why was she so upset? She finally backed off. Geez!
They told me that with all my kiddos. They are fine. I it does hurt to the core when a doctor or someone else tells you that. Sometimes I could just kick people for doing that. Like the doc who told my sister in law that her baby had a whole in her heart and got her all worried over nothing. All babies have a whole in there heart before they are born. Why the heck did that doc say that to her. Now poor thing is devastated to think that there is something wrong with her unborn child. GRRR. Just makes me mad sometimes. Our babies are perfect in our eyes and in God’s eyes.
I try to be so careful when commenting on others’ babies. All of my children are petite. The oldest is about 5’2″, but she’s a nice “healthy” weight. But the younger ones are always mistaken for way younger so when I meet a mom who has a large baby (my 1 year old is less than 20 pounds and most nowadays are way more), I just smile and say they’re cute. It’s tough though. I think my 4-year-old has a rather large head for his size, but he seems to be growing into. Your baby is so exceptionally cute and it’s a shame the doctor wasn’t a bit more tactful and caring. You sound like a wonderful mom and your post was heartfelt. Thanks for sharing.
aww, she is beautiful! Sometimes Dr’s open their big fat mouths and say things that make us upset and then try to stick their foot in their mouth and it only makes the situation worse.
Sophia is adorable!
I am quite horrified by #28′s comment about 3 CT scans! Think long and hard before you agree to a CT scan just because she has a biggish head. They give so much radiation.
OK, this is such a funny story! My doc told me the same thing about my 1-year old son’s head. But, then he looks at me and says, “Well, you have a big head too!” I couldn’t help but bust out laughing because I always said it was my husband’s genes that caused it, but I guess I do have a big head. But, in all seriousness, all my boys had big heads and it took them 4 years to grow into it. I guess even at 29, I’m still growing into mine
Take it from someone who was “diagnosed” with a “too big head” as a baby. My mother said she freaked out when she was told that and after a couple of months, they checked again…still “too big”. And 6 months later…still “too big”. And 2 years later…still.
And when I entered 1st grade and rode the bus home the first day, a 5th grader nicknamed me “Big Head, Little Body”. And after the first 3 weeks of school, I was tested (as all 1st graders were at that time) for the gifted and talented program and you know what? I was the only person in the whole school district that year to score perfect on the test!
So my mom always told me big head = big brain!
I was self-conscious at times, but being a girl, I just grew my hair out, kept it long and no one ever noticed.
You daughter is beautiful and most likely smarter than the doctor who poked her belly.
Girlfriend, don’t worry! My youngest has the Big Head as we call it. If she’s happy and eating well, I wouldn’t sweat it. I know how you feel though. My middle son was a Failure to Thrive at 2 weeks old. Boy, if that doesn’t make you feel bad, I don’t know what will. Anyway, he was fine at the next check up and has been fine ever since. Pray for peace and I will too!
Well, I don’t know if anyone is still following this but I just had to chime in!
I have a Sophia also and she also has a nice sized head.
It is around the 60th percentile but what accentuates it is that she also has VERY VERY full cheeks. Like Gerber tims two! People comment all the time and here’s the deal: OUR LAST NAME happens to be,…you guessed it: HEAD! So you can imagine what goes through my mind…”Will they tease her in school that Sophia Head has a big head?” Then I just laugh and how ridiculous…! Anyone, I thought some of you might find that added twist entertaining! Blessings on all large headed babies! 
I don’t see anything wrong with her. I think as mother’s we get so tied up with numbers and they can make us feel horrible! I think she looks like happy healthy baby, I would never look at her and think she had a big head!
My daughter was alway on the 95% then her weight dropped as she grew taller and people acted as though I was starving the child. Heaven forbid she hit a growth spurt and thin out. She is tall and lean I can’t do anything about that
I know the feeling, after I went back to work my son who was just a few months started losing weight. Now, I knew he was being fed, but the doctor was voicing some serious concern and kept having us bring him in for weight checks. He was also a very, or should i say extremely active baby, he moved constantly. finally after several visits and he seemed to be developing fine just was small/ skinny just not always gaining a lot of weight. The doctors professional diagnosis, “I just think he so active he is burning calories,” I had to agree. To this day, Alex is thin but growing, he is 4 yrs, has been riding without training wheels since his third bday. walked at 9 mos. He is extremely active, I can’t keep up with him. You daug is beautiful, there are times when babies have disproportionate heads, and they grow into them. I would be thankful that you have a doctor that notices things then one who, even when you have a problem, just keeps telling you everything is fine(been there, still there). In my eyes my children are perfect, because God made them the way they are. Bev
Hey Mr. Doctor, babies have big heads and this one has an especially beautiful one (and that smile, wow!) so please back off and stop concerning her mama!