Reading memoirs opens doors that allow me a peek into something that I will probably never experience–it could be the life of a world traveler, an addict in recovery, or in the case of Road Map to Holland, a mother’s journey of parenting a child with Down syndrome. This book is the best of memoir–the story is honest and insightful and it quickly seeps into the heart of the reader.
I have a friend with a teenager who has Down’s. I’ve known her daughter since she was about five years old (I wrote about seeing her grow up HERE), and she had always praised the essay “Welcome to Holland” as an accurate and lovely description of finding out that your child had Down syndrome (If you’ve never read the essay, you should read it now to get a better context of the title of this book). Because of that, I knew that I wanted to read this book, if for no other reason than to understand a bit more of my friend’s parenting experience.
However, mere pages into Jennifer Graf Groneberg’s book, I realized that I was going to get so much more out of this book. What I got was yes, one woman’s story of the first two years of her life as the mother of a son with Down syndrome–but much much more. I got a woman’s insights on marriage, and how having children changes it. I read about the important role of friendship in a mom’s life, and the sad loss of a connection that was once so dear. I experienced through her words, that which several of my friends have experienced–having to leave a premature baby in the hospital NICU.
Groneberg writes with honesty. She says some things that you don’t even expect your best friend to share. And she writes beautifully. I can best illustrate this by sharing a few quotes:
All the children a woman will bear are present inside her even before she is born. They are created while she is still nothing more than a tiny form twisting and turning in utero.
***
“Kids,” she [a receptionist] says. “They’re life’s sandpaper.”
Life is life’s sandpaper, I decide on the way home.
***
I disengage myself from the babies and change them into fresh diapers. I kiss Carter [her older son] on top of the head. . . I feel something I haven’t felt in a long while: confidence.
Reading the book reminded me of how I felt when I found out that Amanda had a birth defect, and like Groneberg, I had to say goodbye to that dream of having a perfect child (I wrote about it today on my blog). It occurred to me that all mothers deal with that feeling at some point–of letting go of perfection.
That’s yet another reason why this is a book for all moms.
Would you like to win one of three signed copies of Road Map to Holland? Leave a comment here. The winners will be posted in next week’s column.
The winners of last week’s book, Date Night in a Minivan, are
#24 Happy Mama
#112 Frances Watson
#191 K. Cleaver
#169 Mannequin
#56 Shannon H.I think that you will all enjoy the book. Thanks for your honest comments about what your biggest obstacles are. There was so much interest in this practical yet funny book. Those of you who didn’t win can follow the link and order your own copy.
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{ 146 comments… read them below or add one }
This book sounds GREAT! I would love to read it.
I really love your post over at your site too! So glad you linked to it.
This book looks wonderful! I worked in a vocational rehab where many people had Downs, and combining that with my new experiences as a mother make the book sound extremely relevant and interesting.
sounds like a great read
Oh I’ve heard about this book! It sounds really great, please add my name to the pot! Thanks so much…I’m such a book-a-holic!!!
My niece has Down Syndrome. I’d love to read this.
fingers crossed, legs crossed, eyes crossed.
monica
Not entering this one as I just won a book (thank you!) however, just wanted to say that this book is wonderful reading for any mom. It doesn’t limit its insight to only moms of Down Syndrome children although I am sure those moms can benefit in a special way from this book. Just sayin’…it’s a beautifully written book.
This book looks heart moving. Would love to read this.
We have several friends whose children have Down Syndrome. I would really like to read this book. Thanks for the chance.
My family has taken that trip to Holland. I would love to win this for my daughter-in-Law and son. It helps to know that other people are experiencing the same things that you are.
great giveaway
loved that short essay and can only imagine how great the book is. thanks for the entry!
I would love to win a copy of this book. I, too, enjoy reading honest accounts of people’s experiences. Thanks for the giveaway and the wonderful review.
I’d love to read this – I have a dear friend whose daughter has DS. I’d love the insight into her heart.
Sounds like a great book. I would love to read it.
I love to read this book-my son is mentally disabled and my nephew has just been diagnosed with autism.
I would love to read this book! My profession is workign with adults with mental disabilities. This is a book I’d love to check out to give me a family perspective.
I have had friends from Blind camp and yes I meant to say it, who had downs Syndrome as well as being visually impaired in some way! They are very special people and I would love to read this book as well!
I’d love to win it! My brother has down syndrome, and I would love to pass this along to my mom and sister and all our family members!!!
Count me in!
Sounds like a great read
I’d like to read this book. I think its probably sad and inspiring all in one!
Thanks
My BF has a son with DS. I would love to win!
I’m sure this book would leave the reader with a lot of lessons learned.
gkstratos @yahoo.com
Our first child was born 2 years ago. About 30 minutes after her birth, the doctor came in to tell us that she thought our daughter had down syndrome. Further tests confirmed that that was the case. Some days are easier than others. I love having her in our family and wouldn’t trade her for the world. I would love to read this wonderful book and her account of her life with her son.
I would love to read this book. We have a daughter who was born with an intestinal birth defect that required 3 months of hosipitalizations, 2 surgeries and ongoing special medical care, so I empathize with other moms and families of special needs kids. Her writing sounds beautiful, and I would love to read the whole thing. Thanks for a great link and a fantastic giveaway!
http://psychmamma.wordpress.com
I took a different trip to Holland with my daughter being born premature and then passing away. Seeing you post the essay really caught my eye. I love to read about the strength moms have to survive and overcome.
I would love to read this book.
what a nice read this would be.
Twitter: TheAngelForever
June 16, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Jennifer your post was beautiful and so well written today on your blog. If only babies came with a note telling us that there is no “perfect” baby out there in the world.
I would love to read this book.
Sounds like a great book
Nice book
blah blah blah ….enter me
I was given this essay when we first found out that my oldest son (now
has Cerebral Palsy. I would love to read this book.
I was given this essay when we first found out that my oldest son (now 8 ) has Cerebral Palsy. I would love to read this book.
what a wonderful read
This sounds like a wonderful book. My old co-worker/office mate has a daughter with Downs Syndrome. I love that girl! She is a few years older than me, but of course seems like a child other than her adult size. She is the sweetest person. I’ve moved a state away, but we still talk on the phone and she gets so excited about it.
If you hire the disabled they makle excellent workers.
I’d love to win a copy!
Yes, the experience of having a child with Down syndrome changes ones life… but not necesarily for the worst. And maybe by reading this book one can gain some of those benefits:
Like:
- not everything in life is quaranteed
- you can put up with more than you think you can
- children are loved for who they are, not what they can do.
If I would win this book, I would add it to my “loaning” bookcase.
I have a daughter with Down syndrome, age 13 You can visit me at:
http://beneaththewings.blogspot.com/
Pick Me !!
I would love to take time for this book
As a teacher i’ve had a couple of children with down syndrome. i’d love to have a copy of this book to bring me a better understanding of the challenges parents meet at home.
This has been one of my favorite books. I would love to win.
I’ve spent the last 16 months getting used to the idea of not having a perfect child myself. I’d enjoy this read, I think.
Nice prize.
like to win this
i read every nite before i go to sleep can’t wait to see how it goes
My cousin’s grandson has Down;’s.
I have heard about this book and am very interested in reading it… thanks for entering me
!
I would love to win this book! It sounds delightful and inspiring and as a mom who is potentially choosing to enter the world of special needs through adoption, I can use the inspiration!
I’m a Speech Pathologist and have worked with Down’s syndrome children for many years. This would be a wonderful addition to my professional library.
Looks like a great book.
I would love to read this book, I am a “special needs” person myself. (Autism)
I would give anything for the chance to read this book
I would love to read this book!
I would like to have this book!
Hi, What a touching review of this book! My friend’s young grand daughter has Down Syndrome. When I was an aide in school, I worked with children in various capacities. I had one boy named “Nick” who would come to our LD class for reading from his EMH class. Nick had personality plus! He could read like nobody’s business. Please enter me in your drawing for the heart felt book. I appreciate it. Thanks, Cindi
This sounds like a wonderful book! My sister has Down’s syndrome – it would be neat to hear a mother’s perspective (much different than a sister’s!).
I would like to get this book because my son has adhd/add. And it means a lot to read other parents stories!!!
This would be a great gift for my cousin
cool prize.
Count me in, please!
Sounds like a good read. Love to read!
I worked with children with Down’s Syndrome for many years and they were such a blessing in my life. Thanks for the chance to win this book.
This sounds like a wonderful book. It is a subject very dear to my heart. Thanks for offering it.
This book is very touching, and I would love a copy!
jceko77@yahoo.com
This sounds like a fantastic book. I really hope I win this!
This book really sounds like an interesting read
enter me!
I would love to win this book, I read constantly!!!!
Thanks
Enter me please.
Sounds like a nice book Love to win it . Thank You
Sounds so wonderful! I’m off to read your blog post as well
.
Thanks for entering me. I would love to read this book. Your daughter is beautiful. As far as I am concerned, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her!
I would love some insight into this subject, so this sounds like a great read. (My daughter ain’t perfect, either! But she’s perfect for me.)
I’d love to read this book.
Jennifer Graf-Groneberg’s writing is so lovely and your review so compelling–I’m looking forward to reading it!
Sounds like a great book – I’d love to read it!
Thanks, sounds great! I’d love to win!!
Thank you for having this contest. I really appreciate it.
Sounds like a wonderful book to read, count me in!
THANK YOU GOD BLESS
I love to read and this book sounds like a good book.
I saw this book at Borders recently and was immediately intrigued. I would love to hear a mom’s story about parenting a child with Down’s so that I can better relate with and support my friends who have children with special needs.
This tugs at the heart. I think it will help to understand the challenges in raising a special child.
I would like to read this
This book looks great, I would love to read it!
Looks great, love a good read. Please enter me!
I want to win
Trying to win for the wife…she would love this book.
I’ve always wondered if I would have the strength to handle a situation like that and I only hope I would. I admire the dedication I see in other parents who face daily challenges. I would love to read the book as I know it will truly be an inspirational book and I hope in some way it will help me to be an even better person.
What a wonderful prize!
I would LOVE to win this book! Maybe the story about having a child with Downs Syndrome will help me be better with my Adhd daughter. Thanks!
Angie
This one touches my heart!
wow
I am a nurse who is currently on disability, so I have plenty of time to read. I also worked with clients that were mentally challenged so I think this book would be a wonderful read!
enter me
It’s a wonderful place Holland is. My youngest Eian has Down syndrome and I wouldn’t change a thing about him.
I’d love to read this! Enter me in! I always read books, review, then pass them on to friends/family!
Great giveaway, thanks!
You know, my special guy is 16, but there’s always something new to learn. A new thought or idea to share with the many moms I encounter during our journey.
I am a soon to be new mom. My baby is due in August. I would love to read this book. It sounds interesting.
I really like that Holland essay — can’t wait to read this book.
i would like to read this book
count me in
this sounds like a beautiful story. my cousin has a son with downs syndrome and i know she wouldn’t change a thing.
I would love to win this book. Thanks!
i would like to read this book
We’d love to have a copy!
I blogged your contest on Prize-A-Tron!
http://www.prizeatron.com
would love to read this one, sounds like a great read.
Thank you!
I like this book.
Wow,a signed copy even!
Sounds like a wonderful read
I hope to win
It would be an honor to read this book. I can’t wait. If I don’t win, I’ll definitely will buy it!
Thanks for the great giveaway!
Sounds like a wonderful book. If I win it, after I read it, my daughters’ will surely want to read it too.
sounds like a great book!
this sounds like a great read
I just love books!
After watching my daughter go through 18 surgeries in 8 years (spina bifida), I don’t think we ever made it to Holland. I think we took a side trip to a circus!!
Great review Jennifer. So great in fact that I immediately clicked on my local library’s web page only to find that they don’t have this book. So I requested they acquire it. Maybe this will be my lucky day and I’ll win one here instead.
These sounds like a great book!
Enjoy the weekend!
Have read the poem before, know I would love the book too….esp being the mother of an 18 yr old Down Syndrome daughter and a now 8 yr old daughter who was born prematurely at 25 weeks…
Such a touching story, would love to read it!
enter me please
enter me
I’d love to read this book
enter me please
Please enter me.
As the parent of a special needs child I read everything I can get my hands on.
I would love to win this prize.
count me in please
I would love to win a copy of this book
Sounds very interesting and I love to read!
Looks like a great book! Thanks for the giveaway!!
What a wonderful book. Please include me in the drawing. Thanks.
As one with a soft spot in the heart for people with special needs, I would enjoy learning about this wonderful lady’s adventure to “Holland”. I know a gentleman with Down’s and he is so sweet and loving. I had a communication problem as a young child, and was able to overcome that. I now have the gift of gab
!! Seriously, anyone who wins this book will benefit from reading it and learning from it.
as a special educator..this book is a must
3beez at bellsouth dot net
I would like to read this. I have considered adopting a special needs child.
I can always use a good book!
What a neat book. I’m familiar with the idea of a plane trip to Holland, but heading somewhere else. (The reference for the title.)
Please enter me into the contest. Thanks!
This book sounds GREAT!
Count me in! I’m a big fan of Jennifer’s writing, and I too have a child with enhanced chromosomes.
Christina is 6 and has been a great gift to my family.