June 16, 2008
5 Minutes for Books — Roadmap to Holland
Reading memoirs opens doors that allow me a peek into something that I will probably never experience–it could be the life of a world traveler, an addict in recovery, or in the case of Road Map to Holland, a mother’s journey of parenting a child with Down syndrome. This book is the best of memoir–the story is honest and insightful and it quickly seeps into the heart of the reader.
I have a friend with a teenager who has Down’s. I’ve known her daughter since she was about five years old (I wrote about seeing her grow up HERE), and she had always praised the essay “Welcome to Holland” as an accurate and lovely description of finding out that your child had Down syndrome (If you’ve never read the essay, you should read it now to get a better context of the title of this book). Because of that, I knew that I wanted to read this book, if for no other reason than to understand a bit more of my friend’s parenting experience.
However, mere pages into Jennifer Graf Groneberg’s book, I realized that I was going to get so much more out of this book. What I got was yes, one woman’s story of the first two years of her life as the mother of a son with Down syndrome–but much much more. I got a woman’s insights on marriage, and how having children changes it. I read about the important role of friendship in a mom’s life, and the sad loss of a connection that was once so dear. I experienced through her words, that which several of my friends have experienced–having to leave a premature baby in the hospital NICU.
Groneberg writes with honesty. She says some things that you don’t even expect your best friend to share. And she writes beautifully. I can best illustrate this by sharing a few quotes:
All the children a woman will bear are present inside her even before she is born. They are created while she is still nothing more than a tiny form twisting and turning in utero.
***
“Kids,” she [a receptionist] says. “They’re life’s sandpaper.”
Life is life’s sandpaper, I decide on the way home.
***
I disengage myself from the babies and change them into fresh diapers. I kiss Carter [her older son] on top of the head. . . I feel something I haven’t felt in a long while: confidence.
Reading the book reminded me of how I felt when I found out that Amanda had a birth defect, and like Groneberg, I had to say goodbye to that dream of having a perfect child (I wrote about it today on my blog). It occurred to me that all mothers deal with that feeling at some point–of letting go of perfection.
That’s yet another reason why this is a book for all moms.
Would you like to win one of three signed copies of Road Map to Holland? Leave a comment here. The winners will be posted in next week’s column.
The winners of last week’s book, Date Night in a Minivan, are
#24 Happy Mama
#112 Frances Watson
#191 K. Cleaver
#169 Mannequin
#56 Shannon H.I think that you will all enjoy the book. Thanks for your honest comments about what your biggest obstacles are. There was so much interest in this practical yet funny book. Those of you who didn’t win can follow the link and order your own copy.
Filed under * Feature Columns, 5 Minutes for Books, Contests, Parenting by Jennifer
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152 Comments on 5 Minutes for Books — Roadmap to Holland »
#1 - Janice @ 12:59 am
This book sounds GREAT! I would love to read it.
I really love your post over at your site too! So glad you linked to it.
#2 - Jane @ 4:48 am
This book looks wonderful! I worked in a vocational rehab where many people had Downs, and combining that with my new experiences as a mother make the book sound extremely relevant and interesting.
#3 - chyk @ 6:25 am
sounds like a great read
#4 - Kari @ 6:43 am
Oh I’ve heard about this book! It sounds really great, please add my name to the pot! Thanks so much…I’m such a book-a-holic!!!
#5 - Carol @ 6:43 am
My niece has Down Syndrome. I’d love to read this.
#6 - Paper Bridges @ 7:02 am
fingers crossed, legs crossed, eyes crossed.
monica
#7 - mannequin @ 7:21 am
Not entering this one as I just won a book (thank you!) however, just wanted to say that this book is wonderful reading for any mom. It doesn’t limit its insight to only moms of Down Syndrome children although I am sure those moms can benefit in a special way from this book. Just sayin’…it’s a beautifully written book.
#8 - Dawn fiske @ 7:31 am
This book looks heart moving. Would love to read this.
#9 - Kathy Scott @ 7:39 am
We have several friends whose children have Down Syndrome. I would really like to read this book. Thanks for the chance.
#10 - Patricia Miller @ 8:01 am
My family has taken that trip to Holland. I would love to win this for my daughter-in-Law and son. It helps to know that other people are experiencing the same things that you are.
#11 - Vicky Boackle @ 8:37 am
great giveaway
#12 - jodi @ 8:46 am
loved that short essay and can only imagine how great the book is. thanks for the entry!
#13 - Julie @ 9:13 am
I would love to win a copy of this book. I, too, enjoy reading honest accounts of people’s experiences. Thanks for the giveaway and the wonderful review.
#14 - Scratchin' the Surface @ 9:34 am
I’d love to read this - I have a dear friend whose daughter has DS. I’d love the insight into her heart.
#15 - Terri @ 9:44 am
Sounds like a great book. I would love to read it.
#16 - Elaine @ 10:05 am
I love to read this book-my son is mentally disabled and my nephew has just been diagnosed with autism.
#17 - Jessica @ 10:13 am
I would love to read this book! My profession is workign with adults with mental disabilities. This is a book I’d love to check out to give me a family perspective.
#18 - Happy Mama @ 10:14 am
I have had friends from Blind camp and yes I meant to say it, who had downs Syndrome as well as being visually impaired in some way! They are very special people and I would love to read this book as well!
#19 - Jen @ 10:17 am
I’d love to win it! My brother has down syndrome, and I would love to pass this along to my mom and sister and all our family members!!!
#20 - Desmond @ 10:35 am
Count me in!
#21 - Louise Brouillette @ 11:33 am
Sounds like a great read
#22 - Anne @ 11:35 am
I’d like to read this book. I think its probably sad and inspiring all in one!
Thanks
#23 - More moms reading Road Map « Pinwheels @ 12:14 pm
[...] She also writes about Road Map for this week’s “5 Minutes for Books” post at 5 Minutes for Mom. (Go there for a chance to win 1 of 3 signed [...]
#24 - Kelly's Krazy Kids @ 12:34 pm
My BF has a son with DS. I would love to win!
#25 - Gina Stratos @ 1:24 pm
I’m sure this book would leave the reader with a lot of lessons learned.
gkstratos @yahoo.com
#26 - Please Don’t Tease My Baby! @ 1:39 pm
[...] at 5 Minutes for Books and at Snapshot, Jennifer went back eight years to the day she discovered her first-born was not [...]
#27 - Staci J. @ 1:51 pm
Our first child was born 2 years ago. About 30 minutes after her birth, the doctor came in to tell us that she thought our daughter had down syndrome. Further tests confirmed that that was the case. Some days are easier than others. I love having her in our family and wouldn’t trade her for the world. I would love to read this wonderful book and her account of her life with her son.
#28 - PsychMamma @ 1:54 pm
I would love to read this book. We have a daughter who was born with an intestinal birth defect that required 3 months of hosipitalizations, 2 surgeries and ongoing special medical care, so I empathize with other moms and families of special needs kids. Her writing sounds beautiful, and I would love to read the whole thing. Thanks for a great link and a fantastic giveaway!
http://psychmamma.wordpress.com
#29 - Road Map to Holland by Jennifer Graf Groneberg - 3 winners | Contests 4 Moms @ 2:29 pm
[...] Where: 5 Minutes for Mom [...]
#30 - Jill L @ 2:30 pm
I took a different trip to Holland with my daughter being born premature and then passing away. Seeing you post the essay really caught my eye. I love to read about the strength moms have to survive and overcome.
#31 - Courtney @ 2:32 pm
I would love to read this book.
#32 - Adrienne Gordon @ 2:35 pm
what a nice read this would be.
#33 - TheAngelForever @ 2:36 pm
Jennifer your post was beautiful and so well written today on your blog. If only babies came with a note telling us that there is no “perfect” baby out there in the world.
I would love to read this book.
#34 - Susan @ 2:37 pm
Sounds like a great book
#35 - Dan Smith @ 2:38 pm
Nice book
#36 - c. clemens @ 2:52 pm
blah blah blah ….enter me
#37 - Katrina @ 3:09 pm
I was given this essay when we first found out that my oldest son (now
has Cerebral Palsy. I would love to read this book.
#38 - Katrina @ 3:09 pm
I was given this essay when we first found out that my oldest son (now 8 ) has Cerebral Palsy. I would love to read this book.
#39 - mindy @ 3:27 pm
what a wonderful read
#40 - Natalie @ 3:36 pm
This sounds like a wonderful book. My old co-worker/office mate has a daughter with Downs Syndrome. I love that girl! She is a few years older than me, but of course seems like a child other than her adult size. She is the sweetest person. I’ve moved a state away, but we still talk on the phone and she gets so excited about it.
#41 - Alicia @ 4:25 pm
If you hire the disabled they makle excellent workers.
#42 - Tara R. @ 4:27 pm
I’d love to win a copy!
#43 - Rickismom @ 4:47 pm
Yes, the experience of having a child with Down syndrome changes ones life… but not necesarily for the worst. And maybe by reading this book one can gain some of those benefits:
Like:
- not everything in life is quaranteed
- you can put up with more than you think you can
- children are loved for who they are, not what they can do.
If I would win this book, I would add it to my “loaning” bookcase.
I have a daughter with Down syndrome, age 13 You can visit me at:
http://beneaththewings.blogspot.com/
#44 - Karen Gonyea @ 4:52 pm
Pick Me !!
#45 - Liz @ 5:33 pm
I would love to take time for this book
#46 - Catherine copeland @ 6:00 pm
As a teacher i’ve had a couple of children with down syndrome. i’d love to have a copy of this book to bring me a better understanding of the challenges parents meet at home.
#47 - Mom24 @ 6:20 pm
This has been one of my favorite books. I would love to win.
#48 - Amanda Daybyday @ 6:29 pm
I’ve spent the last 16 months getting used to the idea of not having a perfect child myself. I’d enjoy this read, I think.
#49 - Thomas Gibson @ 7:19 pm
Nice prize.
#50 - Tonya Froemel @ 7:24 pm
like to win this
#51 - susan varney @ 7:31 pm
i read every nite before i go to sleep can’t wait to see how it goes
#52 - Linda Moeller @ 7:50 pm
My cousin’s grandson has Down;’s.
#53 - Ally @ 8:06 pm
I have heard about this book and am very interested in reading it… thanks for entering me :)!
#54 - The Gang's All Here! @ 8:24 pm
I would love to win this book! It sounds delightful and inspiring and as a mom who is potentially choosing to enter the world of special needs through adoption, I can use the inspiration!
#55 - Skiffywife @ 9:03 pm
I’m a Speech Pathologist and have worked with Down’s syndrome children for many years. This would be a wonderful addition to my professional library.
#56 - Shannon Baas @ 9:09 pm
Looks like a great book.
#57 - brandy @ 9:11 pm
I would love to read this book, I am a “special needs” person myself. (Autism)
#58 - Tonya Keener @ 9:31 pm
I would give anything for the chance to read this book
#59 - Amy R. @ 9:48 pm
I would love to read this book!
#60 - Aubrey @ 11:36 pm
I would like to have this book!
#61 - Cindi @ 12:59 am
Hi, What a touching review of this book! My friend’s young grand daughter has Down Syndrome. When I was an aide in school, I worked with children in various capacities. I had one boy named “Nick” who would come to our LD class for reading from his EMH class. Nick had personality plus! He could read like nobody’s business. Please enter me in your drawing for the heart felt book. I appreciate it. Thanks, Cindi
#62 - Lisa @ Stop and Smell the Chocolates @ 1:14 am
This sounds like a wonderful book! My sister has Down’s syndrome - it would be neat to hear a mother’s perspective (much different than a sister’s!).
#63 - content sasso @ 2:00 am
I would like to get this book because my son has adhd/add. And it means a lot to read other parents stories!!!
#64 - Christy @ 2:49 am
This would be a great gift for my cousin
#65 - Stephen Saunders @ 4:23 am
cool prize.
#66 - Carla Cui @ 6:12 am
Count me in, please!
#67 - Cindy S @ 7:44 am
Sounds like a good read. Love to read!
#68 - Jill @ 7:46 am
I worked with children with Down’s Syndrome for many years and they were such a blessing in my life. Thanks for the chance to win this book.
#69 - Sara Alvaro @ 7:50 am
This sounds like a wonderful book. It is a subject very dear to my heart. Thanks for offering it.
#70 - Jo @ 8:56 am
This book is very touching, and I would love a copy!
jceko77@yahoo.com
#71 - Laura @ 9:03 am
This sounds like a fantastic book. I really hope I win this!
#72 - Athena @ 9:35 am
This book really sounds like an interesting read
#73 - Sarah @ 10:11 am
enter me!
#74 - christine @ 10:40 am
I would love to win this book, I read constantly!!!!
Thanks
#75 - Barbara Fox @ 11:08 am
Enter me please.
#76 - Mark H @ 11:12 am
Sounds like a nice book Love to win it . Thank You
#77 - Jennifer Bogart @ 11:24 am
Sounds so wonderful! I’m off to read your blog post as well :).
#78 - willowsprite @ 11:24 am
Thanks for entering me. I would love to read this book. Your daughter is beautiful. As far as I am concerned, there is absolutely nothing wrong with her!
#79 - Jennifer M @ 11:27 am
I would love some insight into this subject, so this sounds like a great read. (My daughter ain’t perfect, either! But she’s perfect for me.)
#80 - Melissa @ 11:33 am
I’d love to read this book.
#81 - Andrea @ 11:33 am
Jennifer Graf-Groneberg’s writing is so lovely and your review so compelling–I’m looking forward to reading it!
#82 - Alice Hansen @ 12:08 pm
Sounds like a great book - I’d love to read it!
#83 - Kari Follett @ 12:14 pm
Thanks, sounds great! I’d love to win!!
#84 - Patty @ 12:17 pm
Thank you for having this contest. I really appreciate it.
#85 - SJ @ 12:19 pm
Sounds like a wonderful book to read, count me in!
#86 - tim brown @ 12:28 pm
THANK YOU GOD BLESS
#87 - charline s @ 12:40 pm
I love to read and this book sounds like a good book.
#88 - Stephanie @ 1:34 pm
I saw this book at Borders recently and was immediately intrigued. I would love to hear a mom’s story about parenting a child with Down’s so that I can better relate with and support my friends who have children with special needs.
#89 - Linda Pinto @ 1:35 pm
This tugs at the heart. I think it will help to understand the challenges in raising a special child.
#90 - Angela J @ 2:01 pm
I would like to read this
#91 - Caroline @ 4:19 pm
This book looks great, I would love to read it!
#92 - Laura @ 4:55 pm
Looks great, love a good read. Please enter me!
#93 - Mike Weisberg @ 5:02 pm
I want to win
#94 - Don @ 5:52 pm
Trying to win for the wife…she would love this book.
#95 - Elizabeth M. @ 7:36 pm
I’ve always wondered if I would have the strength to handle a situation like that and I only hope I would. I admire the dedication I see in other parents who face daily challenges. I would love to read the book as I know it will truly be an inspirational book and I hope in some way it will help me to be an even better person.
#96 - Valerie Mitchell @ 7:50 pm
What a wonderful prize!
#97 - angie @ 9:37 pm
I would LOVE to win this book! Maybe the story about having a child with Downs Syndrome will help me be better with my Adhd daughter. Thanks!
Angie
#98 - Liz @ 10:48 pm
This one touches my heart!
#99 - James Jenkins @ 8:11 am
wow
#100 - Margaret Snyder @ 11:33 am
I am a nurse who is currently on disability, so I have plenty of time to read. I also worked with clients that were mentally challenged so I think this book would be a wonderful read!
#101 - Anthony Hedden @ 12:31 pm
enter me
#102 - Dawn @ 2:51 pm
It’s a wonderful place Holland is. My youngest Eian has Down syndrome and I wouldn’t change a thing about him.
#103 - Kristinia Clos @ 6:36 pm
I’d love to read this! Enter me in! I always read books, review, then pass them on to friends/family!
#104 - Mary @ Adventures in Mommyland @ 7:40 pm
Great giveaway, thanks!
#105 - Marilyn @ 10:56 pm
You know, my special guy is 16, but there’s always something new to learn. A new thought or idea to share with the many moms I encounter during our journey.
#106 - Bridget @ 9:02 am
I am a soon to be new mom. My baby is due in August. I would love to read this book. It sounds interesting.
#107 - Steph @ 9:51 am
I really like that Holland essay — can’t wait to read this book.
#108 - jan koontz @ 12:41 pm
i would like to read this book
#109 - valerie mabrey @ 3:24 pm
count me in
#110 - judy brittle @ 4:13 pm
this sounds like a beautiful story. my cousin has a son with downs syndrome and i know she wouldn’t change a thing.
#111 - Marlena @ 9:48 pm
I would love to win this book. Thanks!
#112 - Lonnie @ 7:05 am
i would like to read this book
#113 - Angela @ 9:51 am
We’d love to have a copy!
I blogged your contest on Prize-A-Tron!
http://www.prizeatron.com
#114 - Rebecca Snodgrass @ 9:53 am
would love to read this one, sounds like a great read.
#115 - Jean @ 1:41 pm
Thank you!
#116 - Yan @ 3:18 pm
I like this book.
#117 - Muriel Morgan @ 4:12 pm
Wow,a signed copy even!
#118 - DARIJAVAN @ 5:01 pm
Sounds like a wonderful read
#119 - Karrie @ 5:32 pm
I hope to win
#120 - Ann @ 7:35 pm
It would be an honor to read this book. I can’t wait. If I don’t win, I’ll definitely will buy it!
Thanks for the great giveaway!
#121 - Donna Vance @ 8:55 pm
Sounds like a wonderful book. If I win it, after I read it, my daughters’ will surely want to read it too.
#122 - marybeth i. @ 10:39 pm
sounds like a great book!
#123 - stampedwithgrace @ 10:40 pm
this sounds like a great read
#124 - L McLendon @ 12:01 am
I just love books!
#125 - Nancy @ 2:48 am
After watching my daughter go through 18 surgeries in 8 years (spina bifida), I don’t think we ever made it to Holland. I think we took a side trip to a circus!!
#126 - Darcie @ 10:08 am
Great review Jennifer. So great in fact that I immediately clicked on my local library’s web page only to find that they don’t have this book. So I requested they acquire it. Maybe this will be my lucky day and I’ll win one here instead.
#127 - shawna f @ 1:10 pm
These sounds like a great book!
#128 - Just a mom’s take on things… » Contest Round-Up - 6/21/08 @ 2:19 pm
[...] at 5 Minutes For Mom you could win one of three signed copies of the book Road Map to Holland by Jennifer Graf Groneberg, or you could win a Chicco Smart Support [...]
#129 - Ed Nemmers @ 3:11 pm
Enjoy the weekend!
#130 - Lisa Sisson @ 5:12 pm
Have read the poem before, know I would love the book too….esp being the mother of an 18 yr old Down Syndrome daughter and a now 8 yr old daughter who was born prematurely at 25 weeks…
#131 - kiyana @ 5:16 pm
Such a touching story, would love to read it!
#132 - philip halter @ 6:58 pm
enter me please
#133 - philip halter @ 6:59 pm
enter me
#134 - Michelle Rosborough @ 9:55 pm
I’d love to read this book
#135 - chris h @ 1:32 am
enter me please
#136 - Jacqueline O. @ 2:27 am
Please enter me.
#137 - Donna W @ 5:48 am
As the parent of a special needs child I read everything I can get my hands on.
I would love to win this prize.
#138 - kathy pease @ 8:51 am
count me in please
#139 - Joan Koczon @ 10:57 am
I would love to win a copy of this book
#140 - Denise @ 11:49 am
Sounds very interesting and I love to read!
#141 - Alecia Gibson @ 6:37 pm
Looks like a great book! Thanks for the giveaway!!
#142 - Beverly S Clark @ 6:38 pm
What a wonderful book. Please include me in the drawing. Thanks.
#143 - Kathy Mullins @ 7:13 pm
As one with a soft spot in the heart for people with special needs, I would enjoy learning about this wonderful lady’s adventure to “Holland”. I know a gentleman with Down’s and he is so sweet and loving. I had a communication problem as a young child, and was able to overcome that. I now have the gift of gab ;-)!! Seriously, anyone who wins this book will benefit from reading it and learning from it.
#144 - julie @ 7:44 pm
as a special educator..this book is a must
3beez at bellsouth dot net
#145 - Donna Kozar @ 8:05 pm
I would like to read this. I have considered adopting a special needs child.
#146 - Jana @ 9:48 pm
I can always use a good book!
#147 - Julie Donahue @ 10:20 pm
What a neat book. I’m familiar with the idea of a plane trip to Holland, but heading somewhere else. (The reference for the title.)
#148 - Lily Kwan @ 11:10 pm
Please enter me into the contest. Thanks!
#149 - Timothy Sternberg @ 11:25 pm
This book sounds GREAT!
#150 - 5 Minutes for Books — Comfort Food @ 12:10 am
[...] an activity? I think that for me it’s gotta be books. The winners of last week’s book, Roadmap to Holland, [...]
#151 - Leticia Velasquez @ 8:11 am
Count me in! I’m a big fan of Jennifer’s writing, and I too have a child with enhanced chromosomes.
Christina is 6 and has been a great gift to my family.
#152 - On Reading: Reflections @ 12:04 am
[...] On Reading: Reflections Written by Jennifer (5 Minutes for Books) Jennifer Graf Groneberg is the author of Roadmap to Holland (which I enthusiastically reviewed HERE). [...]