October 29, 2007
5 Minutes for Books — ScreamFree Parenting
This is review one of two. For the other one, click here.
ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel is a unique parenting book (or revolutionary, as he describes it in his subtitle). Lest you think that you don’t need this book, because yelling at your kids isn’t something that challenges you, the concept of “screaming” is a pretty broad one–including actual screaming, disconnecting, and overcompensating. So, even if you interact with your children in a calm way, you might still need a little mentoring in being ScreamFree, which Runkel defines as
taking hold of your own emotional responses no matter how anyone else chooses to behave; learning to focus on yourself and take care of yourself for the world’s benefit.
He begins the book by telling the reader to take what you wish from the book: “You do not have to accept all that I say in order to enjoy the types of relationships you crave or become the type of parent you desire to be.” Yes, he believes in the principles that he’s teaching, but what a refreshing change from many of the parenting books that insist that you follow each dictum to the letter in order to have a successful family.
For some of us (I say, raising my hand guiltily) the lack of emotional control is where we most need help in relating to our families. For others, perhaps it’s being forced to admit that if Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. He encourages parents that we must take care of our
selves in order to parent our children with the proper perspective and level of commitment that it takes to do so well. As he so rightly observes, “Parenting is not about children, it’s about parents.” He fills us in on the definition of a true show of love, being not I love you for your benefit, or I love you for my benefit (as many parents do), but I love me for your benefit.
I found the chapter on labeling to be quite helpful (humorously titled, “You are not a prophet (and neither is Grandma).” Not only does Runkel advise parents not to label their children (You are a Math wiz! or You are always so creative), but he tells you how to better express yourself–use “sometimes” or “can be” instead of always in order to allow room for a child to change instead of assigning them a certain personality within the family.
The second chapter that I should probably read daily until I can apply the concept is “Empty threats are really broken promises.” As a parent my words and actions (or lack of actions) are so critical to my children’s success. I know that parenting takes work, and this book perfectly straddles the line of encouragement, practical advise, and sometimes a much-needed kick in the pants!
For more information visit screamfree.com where you can take the ScreamFree Living quiz, and watch video clips and read the first chapter of the book. Leave a comment right here for a chance to win one of five copies of this book.
This giveaway is linked to Bloggy Giveaway’s Fall Y’all Giveaway. Click over there for many more giveaways, and come back here every Monday for a new book review and giveaway and the winners of this giveaway
Filed under * Feature Columns, 5 Minutes for Books, Contests, Parenting by Jennifer
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274 Comments on 5 Minutes for Books — ScreamFree Parenting »
#1 - Le Anne @ 12:27 am
I could really use this book. I feel my patience slipping more and more lately and my first reaction is to yell.
Le Anne
yardsaleprincess1@yahoo.com
#2 - Carrie K. @ 1:11 am
I could definitely use this book.
#3 - Tracy @ 1:15 am
I could really use this book.
#4 - Amanda @ 1:16 am
oh man I NEED this book!
#5 - Lisa Brendle @ 6:21 am
I need this book. Please count me in.
#6 - brandy w @ 6:53 am
i could use this book
#7 - Fiddledeedee (It Coulda Been Worse) @ 7:11 am
This sounds like a book I could use. My husband says that I sound like I’m insane whenever I yell. Not that I yell, really. Hypothetically speaking. Ahem.
#8 - emily @ 7:16 am
I would love to read this book.
#9 - roberta @ 7:47 am
Information is power! I’d love to have a copy of this book.
#10 - Carrie @ 7:56 am
I always love new ideas for parenting!
#11 - TheAngelForever @ 7:59 am
LOL - How perfect this would be as my four year old son keeps testing mommy and daddy.
#12 - Lisa C @ 8:06 am
I would LOVE this book. I try not to yell, but every now & then I lose my cool!
#13 - Thea @ I'm a Drama Mama @ 8:31 am
I really, REALLY need this book!!
#14 - Saph -Walk With Me @ 8:47 am
Sounds like a really good book! Pick me!!
#15 - Cathy @ 8:49 am
I would LOVE to have a copy of this book.
#16 - Mama Zen @ 8:49 am
Oh, I need this!
#17 - Grace @ 8:50 am
I would love a copy! Count me in.
#18 - Jessica Hopper @ 8:57 am
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!YES!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
#19 - kathy z @ 9:29 am
I have 17 mth old triplets…and yes…patience is a virtue…but some days…let me put it this way…this book comes in handy!!!
#20 - Ginny @ 9:35 am
I’d love to read this book!
#21 - Deb - Mom of 3 Girls @ 9:36 am
I’d love to have a copy of this one!
#22 - Laura @ 9:38 am
Gosh I would love this book!!!
Thanks!
#23 - Laura @ Laura Williams' Musings @ 9:42 am
With 7 children, there are days I need this!
I blogged ya: Monday Edition of Contests Galore
#24 - Breeni Books @ 9:54 am
Oooh, I’d love to read this.
#25 - Leanne @ 9:54 am
This would be great to win!!
#26 - SusaninGermany @ 9:59 am
Would love to have this book! THanks a ton:)
#27 - Susanne @ 10:01 am
I’ve been screaming way too much lately! This sounds like the book for me.
#28 - Becca @ 10:16 am
Definitely something I need - glad to see others need it too
Thank you!
#29 - Jill @ 10:20 am
I’d love to have this book. Thanks for the chance.
#30 - Veronica @ 10:23 am
I would love a copy of this book!
#31 - jenna @ 10:23 am
Great book. Enter me.
#32 - Sarah W @ 10:41 am
Oh, sign me up….sounds good!
#33 - Nichole R. @ 10:42 am
I’m actually in line to read this from the library. I would love to have my very own copy!
#34 - Jamie @ 10:44 am
Would love this, please count me in!
#35 - Tiffany M @ 10:44 am
I just got this from the library. Would love a copy of my own. Sign me up.
#36 - Mom Chatter @ 10:48 am
Any parenting advice is much appreciated so count me in!
#37 - Jessica @ 10:56 am
What? You aren’t supposed to scream? Just Kidding! Kinda!
#38 - Sara @ 10:56 am
I NEED this book.
#39 - Shannon **Gabi's Mom** @ 10:56 am
I am in very much NEED of this book!
#40 - Susan @ 10:58 am
I LOVE their email tips… please count me in for the book!
#41 - Erin @ 11:03 am
I’d be crazy if I think I won’t need this book…
#42 - Cocoa @ 11:09 am
Any extra parenting advice is much appreciated at my house.
#43 - Kim @ 11:27 am
Another Mom who really NEEDS this book!
#44 - Ashley @ 11:30 am
Before being a parent, I was definitely a control freak. I am getting much better, but still have a hard time when things don’t go as planned (and my son is almost 2)! I am getting better, but this book would be so much help!
#45 - Patti @ 11:36 am
I think we all need this book!!
#46 - Valarie Elswick @ 11:41 am
I CAN’T BELIEVE SOMEONE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT SCREAMING AT KIDS!!!!!!!! (my computer scream! haha) Seriously, not a daily issue for me but I’ve been known to let it fly now and then so I’m on my way to take the quiz. Scared, but gonna do it! =)
Thanks for sharing this!
#47 - Beth @ 11:42 am
Great prize! Thanks!
#48 - Amanda Y @ 11:49 am
Oh how I want to win this book!
#49 - Stacee @ 11:50 am
Looks like this would be a great read.
#50 - Qtpies7 @ 11:58 am
Ok, I’ll admit, I need this book. I have a lot of broken promises.
#51 - Awesome Mom @ 11:58 am
My kids would tell you that I do lose it occasionally and I hate it when that happens.
#52 - Doreen @ 12:02 pm
As a mother of 3 I need this book!
#53 - Nunny11 @ 12:07 pm
This sounds really interesting…I would like to learn more about his parenting philosophies and compare them to other books on parenting I’ve read! Thanks!
#54 - sam @ 12:10 pm
I know just who to give this book to…
#55 - Amy Grant Bayliss @ 12:11 pm
I have three mischievous little boys…. this is a must! Please put my name in!
#56 - Becca @ 12:13 pm
My baby’s only seven months old, but I’d love to read this book BEFORE I need it.
#57 - Tracy N @ 12:14 pm
I need this book.
tnayar at cox dot net
#58 - Kena @ 12:16 pm
This book would really help… : )
#59 - Tonya @ 12:28 pm
With a 4 year old, I am in desperate need of this book.
#60 - Mercedes @ 12:30 pm
Yeah! I could really use this books. Learned habits are hard to break.
#61 - Kyra @ 12:32 pm
My son is too smart for me, I NEED this book! PLease count me in!
#62 - Tina @ 12:33 pm
Sounds great!
#63 - Shannon @ some fine taters @ 12:33 pm
I could use this. Count me in!
#64 - Jenn @ 12:37 pm
hmmmm, I think I could make good use of this book
#65 - Katrina @ 12:43 pm
Please enter me!
#66 - Mary @ 12:47 pm
Count me in!
#67 - Amy A. @ 12:51 pm
Thanks for the chance to win this book. Who hasn’t found themselves screaming and thought, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”
#68 - Trina @ 12:57 pm
This sounds maaaah-velous dahling! Put me in!!
#69 - Meleah @ 12:59 pm
I have twins (’nuf said) — Please count me in!
#70 - Lisa M @ 1:00 pm
Would love to win this book
#71 - Nikki @ 1:02 pm
Please enter me.
Nikki
#72 - Carrie @ 1:06 pm
I would love to read this book. I’ve been a subscriber to the ScreamFree newsletter and bought ScreamFree bracelets.
I’ve been trying to contact them to get a representative on the show but they won’t get back in touch.
Anyway I would love a copy. I like the philosophy.
#73 - Melanie @ 1:09 pm
Sign me up! I can definitely read this!
#74 - Jen E @ 1:10 pm
Sounds like a great book for me!!!! I’m in!!!
#75 - kim @ 1:11 pm
With a toddler entering the “terrible twos” and another on the way, I’d love to read this book. Thanks!
#76 - slawebb @ 1:12 pm
seems I may need this more than I want to admit
#77 - Shawna Garcia @ 1:21 pm
Hi I would REALLY get GOOD use out of this book with 5 kids in our house
#78 - Jill H. @ 1:25 pm
Sounds like a great read!
#79 - Jenn in AZ @ 1:25 pm
I saw an interview with the author on some talk show (cannot remember!) and it intrigued me. Thanks!
#80 - Laurie @ 1:26 pm
I would love to win this book. Sign me up.
#81 - Renee @ 1:30 pm
I could really use this book!! Pick me!!!
#82 - Kacy @ 1:38 pm
Good luck to everyone! I’m sure many of us could find some useful information in this book
#83 - Caryn @ 1:38 pm
I need this! : )
#84 - Robin @ 1:43 pm
I’ve heard really good things about this book. Count me in please.
#85 - missbecky75 @ 1:47 pm
mom of 3 boys could use some help!
pick me! pick me!
#86 - stacy @ 1:49 pm
I’d love to read this book.
#87 - Amy R. @ 1:51 pm
I would love to read this book. I have 3 little girls!
#88 - Karla ~ Looking Towards Heaven @ 1:53 pm
oh PLEASE!!! You don’t know how badly I need this!!!
I’d LOVE this! add me, please.
blessings,
karla
#89 - Elaine @ 2:05 pm
Oh, man. Yesterday, I found myself screaming, “I’m in the BATH-ROOOOOOOOOOOm!” in an oh-so-not-very-nice-tone. My two-year-old came in afterwards and said, “Sorry for yelling, Mom.” Oops!
#90 - Richelle F @ 2:11 pm
Sound useful!
#91 - JewelsHud @ 2:19 pm
Yeah - this would be nice to read. I’d love to win!
#92 - Michelle B @ 2:25 pm
Please enter me in this contest.
#93 - Michelle @ 2:30 pm
I’ve read a lot about this book and it’s been on my “to read” list. Please enter me!
#94 - Filomena @ 2:33 pm
Would find this useful.
#95 - Melanie Stevens @ 2:38 pm
oh yes! i need this one!
#96 - Killlashandra @ 2:50 pm
Wow, thanks for the information and sign me up. I’ve never heard of this and with a 2 year old, 14 year old and a 16 year old somedays I wonder about my sanity.
#97 - Lauren@Baseballs&Bows @ 3:00 pm
Please include me!
#98 - Jessica @ 3:12 pm
Thanks!
#99 - Shama-Lama Mama @ 3:32 pm
I have three exaspirating boys and wonder if its my fault at times… could use this book.
#100 - Toblerone @ 3:34 pm
I’d love this! Count me in.
#101 - Jennifer @ 3:35 pm
Please include me!
#102 - Jess @ 3:44 pm
Wow, 98 comments already! Obviously there’s a need in the world for books like this, and I’m excited about this one that seems both practical and encouraging. Please sign me up!
#103 - Lisa W @ 3:56 pm
We definitely need this book in our house!
#104 - Laura @ 4:07 pm
I think this could help everyone.
#105 - Lisa @ 4:10 pm
I would also love to read this book
#106 - Donna @ 4:17 pm
I NEED this book!
#107 - MamaChristy @ 4:25 pm
Yeah, I had a melt-down this morning when my three year-old did. I think this would do me some good…
#108 - Sarah @ 4:34 pm
I think this book could please me!! =)
#109 - April @ 4:42 pm
I could use this one.Please enter me, Thanks!
#110 - JenM @ 4:47 pm
This book sounds AWESOME.
#111 - Lisa @ 4:49 pm
This book sounds great — thanks for this giveaway!
#112 - Amanda @ 4:57 pm
This looks like a great book! Please include me in the drawing!
#113 - Lisa O @ 5:01 pm
I need this book. I saw the author featured on the Today show last week.
#114 - Adena @ 5:02 pm
Oh, if I win could you please overnight it to me?? JK. Great giveaway.
#115 - Tamara (AK) @ 5:05 pm
More winter reading material - yay! Tossing in my comment for a chance… Thanks!
#116 - Jolene @ 5:09 pm
With two teenagers and an almost 5 year old I’m really needing something like this right now!
#117 - Jamie @ 5:24 pm
I could use some help in this area…please enter me!
#118 - Christine @ 5:36 pm
I think every parent could probably benefit from something like this. Please enter me. Thank you
#119 - kd @ 5:39 pm
this looks like an amazing book. thanks for entering me!
#120 - Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry @ 5:47 pm
Oh Wow, could we use that book around here. Not that we scream or anything, oh no. But one can always use a bit of improvement! :>)
#121 - CanCan @ 5:48 pm
I realize that screaming/lecturing isn’t effective with my 3 year old, but I don’t know what to replace it with. Please help!
#122 - Eden @ 5:48 pm
Wow! What a great giveaway! Please count me in. I’m doing a giveaway over at my place too. Hope you drop by for a quick visit!
#123 - Renee @ 5:52 pm
Please add me to the list! I was just reading about this book!
Blessings!
Renee
#124 - Cincy @ 6:38 pm
Every one could use a little help!
#125 - Julia @ 6:54 pm
Please enter me. I am a “disconnecter” and would like to learn how to respond differently.
#126 - Shannon @ 7:19 pm
After the day I just had, PLEASE COUNT ME IN!
#127 - Holly @ 7:22 pm
Enter me please.
#128 - Erna @ 7:38 pm
I had to smile at how many who comment need this book. :0) Me too! It’s nice not to feel like “the only one.” ;0)
#129 - Bethany @ 7:41 pm
Thanks for the opportunity.
#130 - phyllis @ 8:14 pm
hope i win this one!
#131 - Angela Willis @ 8:44 pm
They really need “scream free baby - a babies guide to not driving your mommie insaine!”
We’d really love to read this book my son goes from wonderful to purple faced screaming and sometimes I feel like running outside to scream but I don’t.
#132 - Jill @ 9:30 pm
I am sad that I need this.
#133 - palmtreefanatic @ 9:31 pm
I need all the help I can get and would so LOVE to be enteresd in this fantastic contest! please count me in!
Thank you ever so much!
Tina
#134 - Sarah Gwin @ 9:41 pm
We have a potty training toddler and a two month old.
Thanks for hosting such a great giveaway.
#135 - Teresa @ 10:03 pm
Please enter me!
#136 - Renae Horner @ 10:19 pm
My son is 15 months and not quite to the tantrum stage, so this would be great to have…before the tantrums start! Count me in!
#137 - Elaine H @ 10:37 pm
I love it! Thanks for the drawing!
#138 - Keryn @ 10:45 pm
Wow! If I don’t win, I should probably go buy this book for myself.
#139 - Sarah @ 10:47 pm
As a homeschool mom and babysitter of twins my patience usually falls short very quickly.
#140 - Diana @ 10:59 pm
Yes, please!
#141 - Capturing Today @ 11:01 pm
I’d love to have a copy of this book!
#142 - Christa @ 11:07 pm
Sounds like a great book! Count me in!
#143 - Melinda @ 11:11 pm
I’ve heard about this book. I could use it. I don’t like screaming.
Hugs,
Melinda
#144 - Fruitbearer @ 11:11 pm
Please enter me in this giveaway. Thanks!
#145 - Kim @ 11:13 pm
I’d love this.
#146 - Alyson @ 11:14 pm
Have you been spying on me? (wink, wink) Boy, could I use one of those books! Please sign me in for the drawing and Thanks!!
#147 - Melanie @ 11:22 pm
I need this!
#148 - KellyE @ 11:27 pm
Looking forward to reading this book, even if I don’t win.
#149 - jen @ 11:29 pm
please put me into the draw
#150 - Chrissy Hooker @ 11:41 pm
Hoping to win this one… we could certainly use less negative emotion around here.
#151 - Kerry @ 12:27 am
I’ve been hearing a lot of buzz about this book. I could really use it, that’s for sure!
#152 - Becky @ 12:34 am
I think I could benefit from this book.
#153 - Lynn @ 12:42 am
looks like a great book. hope I win.
#154 - stacey @ 1:00 am
after today, i really know i need this!
#155 - GlamBoutique @ 1:02 am
I’d love to win!
#156 - Laura @ 1:06 am
enter me please. I could use this book
#157 - Wendy @ 1:13 am
There are plenty of days lately when I could really use this book. Please count me in!
#158 - Jodi @ 1:41 am
I would love this book! With a 14 year old and a 2 year old I need it!
#159 - tanyetta @ 1:52 am
thank you
#160 - Sarah @ 3:30 am
This sounds great - I’m just starting to need it now with my daughter just turning 2!!!
#161 - Christy @ 3:46 am
sign me up!
#162 - Lisa - The Scrap Princess @ 6:53 am
Wow - I have this book title written on a notecard on my desk from last week! I read an article that Hal wrote about him losing his temper with his children and have been wanting to get this book. I’d love to win it but if not, it’s on my list for the next trip to the Christian book store
The article I read last week was excellent! And he has great tips for keeping your calm as a parent (even when it seems impossible to do so).
#163 - Dorothy @ 8:47 am
Enter me please!
#164 - Dawn @ 8:56 am
Excellent giveaway. Enter me, please! I could definitely use this some days!
#165 - Melissa @ 9:39 am
count me in!
#166 - Lib @ 9:54 am
This would be a wonderful win. Count me in!
Good luck to everyone
Lib
http://not-much-more.blogspot.com
notmuchmorethanthis [at] gmail [dot] com
#167 - Princess Leia @ 10:00 am
I’m about ready to lose it right now as my 10-month-old who woke at midnight, 2, 3, and 5:30 (for good) last night, and who is currently STANDING ON MY RIGHT ARM as I type…is driving this very sleepy mama nuts.
Any parenting/coping techniques would be very welcome!
#168 - Shannon @ 10:16 am
Hey I am a new mom to a 6 month old that was born 3 months early and has many special needs and sometimes I find myself wanting to scream. I would love this book. Thanks.
SHANNON
palmersf@comcast.net
#169 - CPA Mom and Soccer Mom Angela @ 10:27 am
What I wouldn’t give to win this book. We could use it!
#170 -