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This is review one of two. For the other one, click here.
ScreamFree Parenting by Hal Edward Runkel is a unique parenting book (or revolutionary, as he describes it in his subtitle). Lest you think that you don’t need this book, because yelling at your kids isn’t something that challenges you, the concept of “screaming” is a pretty broad one–including actual screaming, disconnecting, and overcompensating. So, even if you interact with your children in a calm way, you might still need a little mentoring in being ScreamFree, which Runkel defines as
taking hold of your own emotional responses no matter how anyone else chooses to behave; learning to focus on yourself and take care of yourself for the world’s benefit.
He begins the book by telling the reader to take what you wish from the book: “You do not have to accept all that I say in order to enjoy the types of relationships you crave or become the type of parent you desire to be.” Yes, he believes in the principles that he’s teaching, but what a refreshing change from many of the parenting books that insist that you follow each dictum to the letter in order to have a successful family.
For some of us (I say, raising my hand guiltily) the lack of emotional control is where we most need help in relating to our families. For others, perhaps it’s being forced to admit that if Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. He encourages parents that we must take care of ourselves in order to parent our children with the proper perspective and level of commitment that it takes to do so well. As he so rightly observes, “Parenting is not about children, it’s about parents.” He fills us in on the definition of a true show of love, being not I love you for your benefit, or I love you for my benefit (as many parents do), but I love me for your benefit.
I found the chapter on labeling to be quite helpful (humorously titled, “You are not a prophet (and neither is Grandma).” Not only does Runkel advise parents not to label their children (You are a Math wiz! or You are always so creative), but he tells you how to better express yourself–use “sometimes” or “can be” instead of always in order to allow room for a child to change instead of assigning them a certain personality within the family.
The second chapter that I should probably read daily until I can apply the concept is “Empty threats are really broken promises.” As a parent my words and actions (or lack of actions) are so critical to my children’s success. I know that parenting takes work, and this book perfectly straddles the line of encouragement, practical advise, and sometimes a much-needed kick in the pants!
For more information visit screamfree.com where you can take the ScreamFree Living quiz, and watch video clips and read the first chapter of the book. Leave a comment right here for a chance to win one of five copies of this book.
This giveaway is linked to Bloggy Giveaway’s Fall Y’all Giveaway. Click over there for many more giveaways, and come back here every Monday for a new book review and giveaway and the winners of this giveaway
Ginny says
Hope I win 🙂
Dave Markert says
Carrie:
I do public relations for screamfree! I’m sorry if noone has gotten back to you! Please contact me directly on [email protected] or call tiffany, who schedules interviews at 770-239-1733.
Sarah says
This book sounds like a must-have.
Amy says
This sounds like a great book to read! I would love to win one!!
Melissa says
I would love to read this book.
Jill W. says
I saw this the other day on the today show & wanted it then. Haven’t felt the need to scream yet, as my daughter is just 7 months old, but I know it’s coming! Thanks!
Lisa says
Oh I would definitely love this book! I read all things parenting, all the time! Thank you!
Jen ~ A little bit about me!! says
If I don’t win it, I know I’ll be checking to see if I could get it from the library!
Andrea says
Please count me in! Thank You!!
Pammy says
Please count me in!! Thank you.
Sarah says
I’d like a chance to win this book… for a friend. Yeah, that’s it. For a friend. 😉
holly says
Icould really use this book!
Rean Day says
Sign me up!
jessica says
Would love this book!
Amity says
Please enter me!!
JC says
I could really use this.
Jennifer says
This is great! Thanks!
Molly B says
As baby number 5 approaches my life, I’m needing more and more help….
Thanks for sharing!
Jessica from NB says
Looking forward to reading this book! (Please 🙂
mama k says
we need that book too!
thanks!
jennifer says
if the kids would quit screaming I could enter more giveaways! I’d like to read this! Thanks for the chance!
Holly says
I would definitely put this book to good use… count me in please!
Jennifer Barr says
cool book!
Regina says
i would love to read this book! pick me pick me!
Crissy Hensley says
What a great book to read when you finally find a few minutes to read.
Amanda says
Of course, I could use this book 🙂
Lindsey in AL says
Oh boy! That sounds like something I could use. I think I’ll see if the libray system has it, if I don’t win it, of course 😀
Mommy says
Please Count me in! Thank you 🙂
Andrea says
Sounds like a great book! I’d love to read it! 🙂
Jherica Younge says
please count me in, i remember my mom screaming at us when we were younger, and now that I have my son I want to stop it.
Taowyn says
I was a screaming baby, I guess there’s a good chance my baby will be too.
ColleenR says
Was this written about me? Eneter me, please!
Judy Aschenbrenner says
My kids would love for me to have this book!
Jenny M says
Sounds very interesting. Id love to read this books for more ideas. Thank you!
Ron Miller says
I’m beyond screaming…. need a book for THAT!
BChsMamaof3 says
Please add me into your draw 🙂 Thanks so much!
sharijoy says
that sounds like a MUST read!!
Tobi says
Sounds like a good read and one we could all benefit from. Thanks for the chance to win.
Pastormac's Ann says
Count me in.
Amy says
PLEASE….enter me in 🙂 !!
Rebecca says
Scary how many of us say “I could really use this”. Funny tho, I was going to look for this one at the library. Please count me in on your drawing. Thank you!
twosquaremeals says
Count me in. I would love this book.
Beth says
Sounds like a great book. Count me in!
Mary_Freebies says
I’d love to win this book!
VLK says
I could use this!
Shonnie says
I have a couple of friends who could use this book 🙂
Dawn says
I could definitely use this book. I admit my voice gets a little loud sometimes when dealing with my kids. But then again, you’d think they would hear me better than they do.
melissa says
count me in!
melissa nassraway
Elliemae says
What a great giveaway! Hope I win!!!
Noreen says
would love to win
abrianna says
I;m in
Andrea says
Count me in, my favorite topic to read about a better parenting.
Michelle O. says
I’d really like to read this book. I always appreciate new ways to interact with my kids. Thanks!
Dawn says
I would love to know how to do this. I don’t want to be a mom that yells all the time.
Mommy Brain says
What a great concept. I could really use this book.
Beth S. says
Great Giveaway! Please enter me.
Lisa M says
could use this!!!!
Please enter me
Michelle says
This sounds like a great book! Please enter me, I could always use the help. 🙂 Thanks!
MommaBlogger says
This sounds good. There is always so much noise in my house I usually have to yell just to be heard some days.
Kat says
Please enter me…would love to win!
Amy says
Thank you for a great giveaway!
Stephanie says
Looks like a good read!
Courtney says
Oooh, I’d love to win this one!
Chelsea says
Wow, I could really use this book.
joy says
I would like to be entered for this, I am at the cusp of losing my mind over knowing how to parent my toddler!
Sisterlisa says
Sounds like a great book! I’d like to sign please.
Emily says
I won’t deny it. I do need this.
Lesha says
Count me in! 🙂
Hannah C. says
I love it!! (and need it..)
Tiffany says
My husband, 3 year old, 20 month old, and twin 4 month olds would thank you. Count me in.
emily says
this would be a great book to read! please enter me. 🙂
Donna says
This sounds like a book I need to read!
Julie Sivley says
“GET IN BED NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Do you think I need this book?
Bailey's Leaf says
Sweet mercy, please sign me up. My child is 3. Need I say more?
Christi says
Looks awesome! Thanks for sharing!
Emily says
I think that that is going to be something that I’m going to need in the near future.
kelli says
ME! PICK ME!
Jaime says
I could definitely use this book. My son is starting the Terrible Two’s!! HELP!!
Tori says
I only scream on the inside. Would this book still help? Enter me please. Thanks!
Callista says
Me please! I could use this book!
melissa says
great book
Tonsofsons says
I have 5 boys. (: Pleezzzzzzzzze pick me!
http://tonsofsons.wordpress.com/
Richelle Robinson says
Unfortunately, I could really use this book. Just ask my boys.
Karen says
Looks great – could definitely use it!
Brandi says
Somedays I feel as if I am going to pull my hair out…..I think I would benefit from this book.
Leia says
I could really use this book. >.>
Thanks for the entry! I’ll be sure to read it even if not chose. 🙂
America says
OMG, I so need to read this book! My husband is gone so much (ARMY) and will be leaving soon on a 15 month deployment and I am already agonizing over what and how I am going to keep it together since we have a newborn now and not just the two year old and I have found myself this last month just losing it and telling myself I have got to figure something out before my husband leaves permanently for the deployment. So lucky numbers pick me!
Carmen says
I would love to win this book. Thank you.
Kimberly says
I could certainly use a book like this.
Kristi says
I would love to win, thanks!
Tamri Allen says
I heard this book was a life savor when it came to getting your kids to sleep!
Angelic says
There are days when my kids won’t listen to me unless I am yelling. I HATE this! I would LOVE to learn from this book!
Shelly says
Sounds like a great book!
Amanda says
I wish it wasn’t true, but I could sure use this book!
Linda SS says
I’d love to win to give to my adult children to read:)
Kelly says
I would love to win!
Corey says
I’d love to win this book! thank you!
Suzanne says
Guilty! I need this book SO bad! I seem to ALWAYS be hollering at my kids (granted, sometimes I think it’s the only way they’ll hear me!)
Ann'Re says
I admit that I need a book like this. 🙁 Thanks for a very useful giveaway. 🙂
Toni says
This book sounds really helpful.
Saph -Walk With Me says
I could definitely use this book. =)
Amy W says
I could really use this book as well…
Sara says
Sounds like a wonderful book. Enter me please!
http://www.ladybugsandlilypads.com
Allanna says
I, too, could use this. SO BAD.
My children would thank you.
Not that I, of course, ever raise my voice or let my emotions get the best of me. *shifty eyes* Where would you ever get that idea? *shiftier eyes*
CPA Mom and Soccer Mom Angela says
What I wouldn’t give to win this book. We could use it!
Shannon says
Hey I am a new mom to a 6 month old that was born 3 months early and has many special needs and sometimes I find myself wanting to scream. I would love this book. Thanks.
SHANNON
[email protected]
Princess Leia says
I’m about ready to lose it right now as my 10-month-old who woke at midnight, 2, 3, and 5:30 (for good) last night, and who is currently STANDING ON MY RIGHT ARM as I type…is driving this very sleepy mama nuts.
Any parenting/coping techniques would be very welcome!
Lib says
This would be a wonderful win. Count me in!
Good luck to everyone 🙂
Lib
http://not-much-more.blogspot.com
notmuchmorethanthis [at] gmail [dot] com
Melissa says
count me in!
Dawn says
Excellent giveaway. Enter me, please! I could definitely use this some days!
Dorothy says
Enter me please!
Lisa - The Scrap Princess says
Wow – I have this book title written on a notecard on my desk from last week! I read an article that Hal wrote about him losing his temper with his children and have been wanting to get this book. I’d love to win it but if not, it’s on my list for the next trip to the Christian book store 🙂 The article I read last week was excellent! And he has great tips for keeping your calm as a parent (even when it seems impossible to do so).
Christy says
sign me up!
Sarah says
This sounds great – I’m just starting to need it now with my daughter just turning 2!!!
tanyetta says
thank you 🙂
Jodi says
I would love this book! With a 14 year old and a 2 year old I need it!
Wendy says
There are plenty of days lately when I could really use this book. Please count me in!
Laura says
enter me please. I could use this book
GlamBoutique says
I’d love to win!
stacey says
after today, i really know i need this!
Lynn says
looks like a great book. hope I win.
Becky says
I think I could benefit from this book.
Kerry says
I’ve been hearing a lot of buzz about this book. I could really use it, that’s for sure!
Chrissy Hooker says
Hoping to win this one… we could certainly use less negative emotion around here.
jen says
please put me into the draw
KellyE says
Looking forward to reading this book, even if I don’t win.
Melanie says
I need this!
Alyson says
Have you been spying on me? (wink, wink) Boy, could I use one of those books! Please sign me in for the drawing and Thanks!!
Kim says
I’d love this.
Fruitbearer says
Please enter me in this giveaway. Thanks!
Melinda says
I’ve heard about this book. I could use it. I don’t like screaming.
Hugs,
Melinda
Christa says
Sounds like a great book! Count me in!
Capturing Today says
I’d love to have a copy of this book!
Diana says
Yes, please!
Sarah says
As a homeschool mom and babysitter of twins my patience usually falls short very quickly.
Keryn says
Wow! If I don’t win, I should probably go buy this book for myself.
Elaine H says
I love it! Thanks for the drawing!
Renae Horner says
My son is 15 months and not quite to the tantrum stage, so this would be great to have…before the tantrums start! Count me in!
Teresa says
Please enter me!
Sarah Gwin says
We have a potty training toddler and a two month old. 🙂 Thanks for hosting such a great giveaway.
palmtreefanatic says
I need all the help I can get and would so LOVE to be enteresd in this fantastic contest! please count me in!
Thank you ever so much!
Tina
Jill says
I am sad that I need this.
Angela Willis says
They really need “scream free baby – a babies guide to not driving your mommie insaine!” 🙂 We’d really love to read this book my son goes from wonderful to purple faced screaming and sometimes I feel like running outside to scream but I don’t.
phyllis says
hope i win this one!
Bethany says
Thanks for the opportunity.
Erna says
I had to smile at how many who comment need this book. :0) Me too! It’s nice not to feel like “the only one.” ;0)
Holly says
Enter me please.
Shannon says
After the day I just had, PLEASE COUNT ME IN! 🙂
Julia says
Please enter me. I am a “disconnecter” and would like to learn how to respond differently.
Cincy says
Every one could use a little help!
Renee says
Please add me to the list! I was just reading about this book!
Blessings!
Renee
Eden says
Wow! What a great giveaway! Please count me in. I’m doing a giveaway over at my place too. Hope you drop by for a quick visit!
CanCan says
I realize that screaming/lecturing isn’t effective with my 3 year old, but I don’t know what to replace it with. Please help!
Lori - Queen of Dirty Laundry says
Oh Wow, could we use that book around here. Not that we scream or anything, oh no. But one can always use a bit of improvement! :>)
kd says
this looks like an amazing book. thanks for entering me!
Christine says
I think every parent could probably benefit from something like this. Please enter me. Thank you
Jamie says
I could use some help in this area…please enter me!
Jolene says
With two teenagers and an almost 5 year old I’m really needing something like this right now!
Tamara (AK) says
More winter reading material – yay! Tossing in my comment for a chance… Thanks! 🙂
Adena says
Oh, if I win could you please overnight it to me?? JK. Great giveaway.
Lisa O says
I need this book. I saw the author featured on the Today show last week.
Amanda says
This looks like a great book! Please include me in the drawing!
Lisa says
This book sounds great — thanks for this giveaway!
JenM says
This book sounds AWESOME.
April says
I could use this one.Please enter me, Thanks!
Sarah says
I think this book could please me!! =)
MamaChristy says
Yeah, I had a melt-down this morning when my three year-old did. I think this would do me some good…
Donna says
I NEED this book!
Lisa says
I would also love to read this book
Laura says
I think this could help everyone.
Lisa W says
We definitely need this book in our house!
Jess says
Wow, 98 comments already! Obviously there’s a need in the world for books like this, and I’m excited about this one that seems both practical and encouraging. Please sign me up!
Jennifer says
Please include me!
Toblerone says
I’d love this! Count me in.
Shama-Lama Mama says
I have three exaspirating boys and wonder if its my fault at times… could use this book.
Jessica says
Thanks!
Lauren says
Please include me!
Killlashandra says
Wow, thanks for the information and sign me up. I’ve never heard of this and with a 2 year old, 14 year old and a 16 year old somedays I wonder about my sanity. 🙂
Melanie Stevens says
oh yes! i need this one!
Filomena says
Would find this useful. 🙂
Michelle says
I’ve read a lot about this book and it’s been on my “to read” list. Please enter me!
Michelle B says
Please enter me in this contest.
JewelsHud says
Yeah – this would be nice to read. I’d love to win!
Richelle F says
Sound useful!
Elaine says
Oh, man. Yesterday, I found myself screaming, “I’m in the BATH-ROOOOOOOOOOOm!” in an oh-so-not-very-nice-tone. My two-year-old came in afterwards and said, “Sorry for yelling, Mom.” Oops!
Karla ~ Looking Towards Heaven says
oh PLEASE!!! You don’t know how badly I need this!!!
I’d LOVE this! add me, please.
blessings,
karla
Amy R. says
I would love to read this book. I have 3 little girls!
stacy says
I’d love to read this book.
missbecky75 says
mom of 3 boys could use some help! 🙂 pick me! pick me!
Robin says
I’ve heard really good things about this book. Count me in please.
Caryn says
I need this! : )
Kacy says
Good luck to everyone! I’m sure many of us could find some useful information in this book 😉
Renee says
I could really use this book!! Pick me!!!
Laurie says
I would love to win this book. Sign me up.
Jenn in AZ says
I saw an interview with the author on some talk show (cannot remember!) and it intrigued me. Thanks!
Jill H. says
Sounds like a great read!
Shawna Garcia says
Hi I would REALLY get GOOD use out of this book with 5 kids in our house
slawebb says
seems I may need this more than I want to admit
kim says
With a toddler entering the “terrible twos” and another on the way, I’d love to read this book. Thanks!
Jen E says
Sounds like a great book for me!!!! I’m in!!!
Melanie says
Sign me up! I can definitely read this!
Carrie says
I would love to read this book. I’ve been a subscriber to the ScreamFree newsletter and bought ScreamFree bracelets.
I’ve been trying to contact them to get a representative on the show but they won’t get back in touch. 🙁
Anyway I would love a copy. I like the philosophy.
Nikki says
Please enter me.
Nikki
Lisa M says
Would love to win this book
Meleah says
I have twins (‘nuf said) — Please count me in!
Trina says
This sounds maaaah-velous dahling! Put me in!!
Amy A. says
Thanks for the chance to win this book. Who hasn’t found themselves screaming and thought, “I can’t believe I’m doing this!”
Mary says
Count me in!
Katrina says
Please enter me!
Jenn says
hmmmm, I think I could make good use of this book 🙂
Shannon says
I could use this. Count me in!
Tina says
Sounds great!
Kyra says
My son is too smart for me, I NEED this book! PLease count me in!
Mercedes says
Yeah! I could really use this books. Learned habits are hard to break.
Tonya says
With a 4 year old, I am in desperate need of this book.
Kena says
This book would really help… : )
Tracy N says
I need this book.
tnayar at cox dot net
Becca says
My baby’s only seven months old, but I’d love to read this book BEFORE I need it.
Amy Grant Bayliss says
I have three mischievous little boys…. this is a must! Please put my name in!
sam says
I know just who to give this book to…
Nunny11 says
This sounds really interesting…I would like to learn more about his parenting philosophies and compare them to other books on parenting I’ve read! Thanks!
Doreen says
As a mother of 3 I need this book!
Awesome Mom says
My kids would tell you that I do lose it occasionally and I hate it when that happens.
Qtpies7 says
Ok, I’ll admit, I need this book. I have a lot of broken promises.
Stacee says
Looks like this would be a great read.
Amanda Y says
Oh how I want to win this book!
Beth says
Great prize! Thanks!
Valarie Elswick says
I CAN’T BELIEVE SOMEONE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT SCREAMING AT KIDS!!!!!!!! (my computer scream! haha) Seriously, not a daily issue for me but I’ve been known to let it fly now and then so I’m on my way to take the quiz. Scared, but gonna do it! =)
Thanks for sharing this!
Patti says
I think we all need this book!!
Ashley says
Before being a parent, I was definitely a control freak. I am getting much better, but still have a hard time when things don’t go as planned (and my son is almost 2)! I am getting better, but this book would be so much help!
Kim says
Another Mom who really NEEDS this book!
Cocoa says
Any extra parenting advice is much appreciated at my house.
Erin says
I’d be crazy if I think I won’t need this book…
Susan says
I LOVE their email tips… please count me in for the book!
Shannon **Gabi's Mom** says
I am in very much NEED of this book!
Sara says
I NEED this book.
Jessica says
What? You aren’t supposed to scream? Just Kidding! Kinda! 🙂
Mom Chatter says
Any parenting advice is much appreciated so count me in! 🙂
Tiffany M says
I just got this from the library. Would love a copy of my own. Sign me up.
Jamie says
Would love this, please count me in!
Nichole R. says
I’m actually in line to read this from the library. I would love to have my very own copy!
Sarah W says
Oh, sign me up….sounds good!
jenna says
Great book. Enter me.
Veronica says
I would love a copy of this book!
Jill says
I’d love to have this book. Thanks for the chance.
Becca says
Definitely something I need – glad to see others need it too 🙂 Thank you!
Susanne says
I’ve been screaming way too much lately! This sounds like the book for me.
SusaninGermany says
Would love to have this book! THanks a ton:)
Leanne says
This would be great to win!!
Breeni Books says
Oooh, I’d love to read this.
Laura says
With 7 children, there are days I need this!
I blogged ya: Monday Edition of Contests Galore
Laura says
Gosh I would love this book!!!
Thanks!
Deb - Mom of 3 Girls says
I’d love to have a copy of this one! 🙂
Ginny says
I’d love to read this book!
kathy z says
I have 17 mth old triplets…and yes…patience is a virtue…but some days…let me put it this way…this book comes in handy!!!
Jessica Hopper says
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!YES!!!!!!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!!!
Grace says
I would love a copy! Count me in.
Mama Zen says
Oh, I need this!
Cathy says
I would LOVE to have a copy of this book.
Saph -Walk With Me says
Sounds like a really good book! Pick me!!
Thea says
I really, REALLY need this book!!
Lisa C says
I would LOVE this book. I try not to yell, but every now & then I lose my cool! 🙂
TheAngelForever says
LOL – How perfect this would be as my four year old son keeps testing mommy and daddy.
Carrie says
I always love new ideas for parenting!
roberta says
Information is power! I’d love to have a copy of this book.
emily says
I would love to read this book.
Fiddledeedee (It Coulda Been Worse) says
This sounds like a book I could use. My husband says that I sound like I’m insane whenever I yell. Not that I yell, really. Hypothetically speaking. Ahem.
brandy w says
i could use this book
Lisa Brendle says
I need this book. Please count me in.
Amanda says
oh man I NEED this book!
Tracy says
I could really use this book.
Carrie K. says
I could definitely use this book.
Le Anne says
I could really use this book. I feel my patience slipping more and more lately and my first reaction is to yell.
Le Anne
[email protected]